


Beneath

by AnUnstoppableWarrior



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alfred is conflicted, Awesome Trio Love Triangle, Both is good, DenAme smut later on, I know how about both, M/M, because, how can you chose between Denmark and Prussia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-02
Updated: 2013-10-02
Packaged: 2017-12-25 09:25:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 24,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/951428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnUnstoppableWarrior/pseuds/AnUnstoppableWarrior
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's one thing to have a crush on a great guy. It's another thing to be kissed by a different, less-than-great guy. It's still yet another thing to develop deeper feelings for both of them. He'd thought himself over those feelings when college started, but what's Alfred to do when both Mathias and Gilbert come back into his life? And by chance, at the same time? DenAme and PruAme.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue of Sorts

**Author's Note:**

> The world really doesn't have enough DenAme and PruAme in it, right? And I don't think I've read a fic with an Awesome Trio love triangle. And therefore, I present this, for the two pairings that just don't get enough love.
> 
> I don't know how long this will be. Probably only two or three more chapters. Just a short little tale about love, really. This is a sort of prologue, just to get everyone's relationships squared away and so we know where everyone is with each other.
> 
> I also don't know if the rating will increase. We'll see, I guess.

It happens suddenly enough that he doesn't see it coming, but develops slowly enough that he accepts it for what it is.

"It," of course, being his attraction to one Mathias Køhler, the golden boy of his school.

It starts sophomore year, in math class. Alfred's jotting down notes as fast as he can because the teacher seems oblivious to how fast he's talking, and is also so focused that his back is always facing the students, so raising a hand is only going to result in a sore arm. It doesn't help that the man is older, so his hearing's not what it used to be, which means the students have to practically yell to get his attention.

Alfred pauses, tapping his pencil against his notebook when he taps a little too hard in a grip not tight enough. The pencil flies from his hand onto the floor, rolling to the next desk over. The boy sitting there notices, reaches down, grabs the pencil, and offers it to him.

This is the moment it begins. His mouth dries and his heart does its best to send all his blood to his face. He takes the pencil and says thank you, to which the boy responds "My pleasure," with a polite but genuine smile and a wink before those eyes—blue like his own but darker, wilder—turn back to the front.

Alfred can't focus the rest of class.

* * *

The next few days are confusing for Alfred.

He notices Mathias more and more, and it certainly doesn't help they have PE together. He's suddenly become aware of just where Mathias is relative to himself, and it turns out they have quite a number of classes together, by which he means four out of six, and which also means he has a class with the boy everyday.

Mathias is on the football team. He also takes weights. He's very fit, and athletic.

It's so distracting to him that he sometimes trips on air when the teacher makes them run laps. When they play team sports he's always too busy watching Mathias to really pay attention to his surroundings(he does pay attention though, because he learned his lesson when an errant soccer ball nailed him right in the stomach).

The only problem is that he doesn't talk to Mathias. Ever.

They have different groups of friends. Mathias spends his time in the quad with his sports friends. Alfred stays by his own friends on the benches beside the football field. Math is the only class when they sit next to each other, and oftentimes it takes too much focus to take notes(damn Mr. Stellson for talking so fast!)for casual conversation.

He accepts that he has a crush, but plans to do nothing about it. It's hard but manageable. He's only in high school, after all. He'll get over it.

* * *

One thing that absolutely does not make things easier for him is Gilbert Beilschmidt. The German is a friend of Mathias's, and also on the football team. Alfred frequently sees Gilbert with Mathias. They appear to be great friends, always laughing and joking together.

But they couldn't be more different from what Alfred sees.

Mathias is nice, quiet in class, kind to other students. He balances homework with practice to get top grades.

Gilbert is loud, in and out of class. He's nice when he wants to be, but only to those he likes. He also spends more time getting concussions from practices than he does studying for tests.

Now, Alfred's not any different from the other students. He hangs out with his friends, does his homework, goes to the football games. His glasses are a little thick but he doesn't complain because they're durable and help him see. He wears t-shirts and jeans. He's normal.

But despite that, Gilbert still bothers him, for no other reason than he seems to genuinely enjoy doing it. He'd be a bully if he did it everyday, but as it is he knocks Alfred's books out of his hands one day, pushes him into his locker the next week, then smiles viciously when Alfred doesn't do or say anything about it. It annoys Alfred, sure, but Gilbert's just being an ass and Alfred knows he'll grow out of it someday(and God forbid they ever meet on that someday, because he's going to give Gilbert hell for all this).

The one good thing that comes out of Gilbert's teasing or bullying or whatever the hell Gilbert's doing, is Mathias comes to his rescue one day.

Gilbert walks by and smiles pleasantly enough at him, until he smiles back hesitantly. Then comes out the Gilbert he knows, the cocky smirk and the hand that apparently hates his books with a burning passion because it always manages to hit them so hard he can't hold onto them. And of course he's holding two of his heaviest books, algebra two and chemistry. Gilbert's annoying and grating laugh echoes through his head as the boy rounds the corner.

He's just bending down when an unexpected pair of hands lift his chem book. Looking up, he's just on the verge of thanking whoever it is when he sees it's Mathias, smiling down at him. Blushing fiercely and hating every second of it, Alfred grabs his math book and stands, Mathias following suit.

"Thanks," he says, cheering internally because he didn't stutter. Mathias hands the book over to him with a "My pleasure," which Alfred smiles at. Mathias lifts his own math book. "Walk you to class?"

Alfred's surprised he hasn't passed out with how much blood must be in his face. He nods and shoves his chem book into his locker. Then he hefts his backpack up onto one shoulder.

This is the perfect opportunity to speak with Mathias. He should take it. The walk to class isn't that long, but long enough to strike up a little small talk. However, it's Mathias who breaks the silence between them.

"I'm sorry about Gilbert," he says, and Alfred turns to see Mathias looking down at him, "He's got some problems at home, but that doesn't give him the right to be such a jackass." Mathias frowns. "Does he do that often?"

Alfred shrugs. "Not really. It doesn't bother me that much. And hey, if he has to let out some steam by picking on other kids, I'm happy to help. At least he's not breaking into stores or spray painting walls."

Mathias chuckles. "Yeah, I suppose he could be worse. He's really a great guy, he just...well, his problems have problems, you know?" Alfred nods though he really doesn't know. Gilbert may be a great guy, and good for him, but Alfred only knows the jerk side of him.

"Hey," Mathias says suddenly, with determination, "Do you get what's going on in class? Because I'm totally lost."

Alfred blinks because that had to be the last thing he expected Mathias to say to him, but he nods anyway. "Uh, yeah. Math comes pretty easy to me."

"Cool, cool," Mathias says, nodding as well. "Do you think—uhh, do you think you could...? Um," Mathias stammers out, rubbing his neck and looking away. Alfred smiles because it's the first time he's seen Mathias so flustered and damn if it's not the cutest thing he's ever seen.

"Yes?"

"Couldyoumaybehelpmewithit?" Mathias says in a rush, and Alfred's heart does a strange sort of flop in his chest.

It takes him a moment to sort out Mathias's words, and by the time he does they're sitting down in their seats. "Uh, yeah, yeah! I can help you out, no problem. Is there a certain time or...I mean, do you want to meet sometime...?" Alfred congratulates himself on leaving the choice up to Mathias, that way he won't sound so eager making suggestions. He's happy with whatever arrangement they come up with.

"Is lunch okay? I have practice after school."

"Sure," Alfred says, getting out a pencil and trying to steady his hand. He's so excited he's shaking. "Do you want to start today?"

"That would be awesome," Mathias says with a wide smile, and Alfred just about melts. He doesn't get a chance to answer because Mr. Stellson's voice signals the beginning of class.

Throughout class Alfred's concentration is continually split between math formulas and daydreams. It only takes a few minutes before the realization of what has just happened sinks in fully.

He's going to be helping Mathias study, at lunch, and it's going to be just the two of them. The two of them, alone, studying math.

If Alfred smiles the rest of class, no one notices, or says anything.

* * *

"So, you plug in this number in all the places where 'x' is?" Mathias asks, using his pencil to point to the mentioned areas. Alfred nods and shows Mathias his own work.

"Yes, and when you simplify, that number will be the 'y' coordinate. Then when you get enough points, you can graph it."

Mathias nods and does so, and Alfred sits back and lets the scratching of the pencil on paper fill the silence between them. This is their second week of studying. Because it's lunch, they eat together before coming to the library, where Alfred helps improve Mathias's understanding of the concepts the whole class is on to the best of his ability.

After a few minutes Mathias sits up and shows Alfred his work. He'd gone ahead and sketched the graph as well, and Alfred's pleased to see everything's correct.

"Looks good to me," Alfred says, and just then the bell rings. It's a terrible sound, not because it sounds like it was made by someone tone-deaf, but because it means he and Mathias have to split up. It's Friday, so after math Alfred has English, then he and Mathias share history, then the day's over. As is usual, Alfred expects them to part ways like they always do, but Mathias surprises him when he speaks.

"Are you coming to the game tonight?" He asks, and Alfred could be imaging the pink high on his cheeks(but he really wishes he's not). Alfred pauses in his packing, so startled is he by Mathias's question.

"Uh, well I was thinking about it. I usually go..." And here Alfred shrugs, because while he enjoys the games he's still a sophomore in high school. He's not made of money, but most times he's able to charm his friend Arthur into giving him a ticket(Arthur's in leadership and as such handles the tickets and cash for each game. He gets free tickets because of it, but Arthur hasn't the time to go to them, so Alfred takes advantage and uses his puppy dog eyes to obtain it. He makes a big deal out of it but Alfred knows he'd give him the ticket anyway).

"Do you need a ticket?" Mathias asks quickly, and Alfred's brows shoot up. Boy is Mathias acting weird.

"Actually yeah, I do..." He trails off, because Mathias is digging in his backpack until he pulls out a card. "Here," he says, and Alfred's positive he's not imagining the pink dusting the football player's cheeks.

Alfred takes the card and examines it. The card serves as a pass for all sports games, it seems. There's no name on it. "What's this?" He says with a quirk of the lips. He already knows but he'll revel in hearing Mathias saying it.

"It's, uh," Mathias clears his throat and swings his bag onto his shoulder. Alfred does the same, and picks up his book, still waiting. "It's a pass, you know...to the football game? I mean, you've been a great help, I just felt like I needed to repay you, or something."

Alfred smiles, touched that Mathias even thought of repaying him. This doesn't help his crush any, only makes it worse because Mathias is such a sweetie, and how thoughtful of him since Alfred loves going to the games.

"Thank you," Alfred says sincerely, staring at the pass in his hands. He misses seeing Mathias stare at him, until the warning bell blares through the library again, startling them both. With smiles and waves they part.

* * *

This tentative friendship they have goes on for another two years. They're both seniors now, older and more mature, to be sure, but still kids.

Though two years has passed Alfred hasn't done anything about his crush on Mathias. He chalks up Mathias's blushing to being embarrassed or nervous, and doesn't think much of the game passes Mathias continued to give him. They only share one class this year, English, and Mathias doesn't need tutoring in it. They'd bonded over the first math tutoring, but their groups of friends are still too different. Alfred doesn't ask Mathias to keep eating lunch with him, nor does Mathias ask for any other tutoring. Alfred leaves the offer open, but doesn't expect Mathias to take him up on it, and he's not disappointed when Mathias doesn't ask for the extra help.

Still, in English class Alfred finds himself staring at Mathias sometimes, imagining a life that will never be. Senior year's already halfway over, and Alfred knows it's too late to confess anything, because he's going to a different college than Mathias. Best to let go now.

* * *

They're returned from Spring Break when something surprising happens. Alfred doesn't know why it happens, or what's even the point of it. All he does know is that it shocks the hell out of him, and leaves him twice as confused about Gilbert than he'd been before.

Around the middle of Junior year, Gilbert had completely stopped bothering him. He hadn't ignored him or anything, he'd just walk by and not do anything. Offer a smile or a wave, but that was it. He didn't "accidentally" shove Alfred into the lockers, or knock over his books. He was civil.

Alfred thinks about it and is confused. Why is Gilbert acting so nice all of the sudden. He's not laying down jackets over puddles for him or anything, but he's not being a total ass either, so that's a plus. But it's the why that alludes Alfred, until a couple days after Spring Break, when all suddenly becomes clear.

The final bell rung around fifteen minutes ago, and Alfred's walking to his car. The parking lot is next to the school, and stretches alongside it. He'd been talking to his history teacher about an assignment, so the school is deserted by the time he makes it to the edge of the lot. But he doesn't get far before someone falls into step next to him.

He's surprised to see Gilbert there, hands in his pockets as he strolls leisurely next to Alfred. Alfred stops short and looks around, like he's going to see the rest of the football team. Maybe Gilbert had been laying off because he wants Alfred's guard down for some complex prank?

"Uh, something I can help you with Gilbert?" He asks warily. Gilbert sees him glance around and does the same, but there's no one in sight.

"You waitin' for someone?" Gilbert asks. Alfred stares at him, because are they really having a normal conversation...or any conversation at all?

"No, I just..." Alfred can't finish his sentence because he doesn't know what to say. Gilbert's appearance is rendering him stupid, it seems. It's shocked him enough that he doesn't know what to do.

Gilbert looks at him and starts walking towards him. Alfred unconsciously backs up until his back hits one of the beams supporting one of the many structures providing shade for the cars, his books in front of him like a shield. Gilbert doesn't stop advancing until he's in Alfred's personal space, supporting his weight with a hand on the beam next to Alfred's head. He's effectively trapped Alfred, but also given Alfred a way to get away from him if he wanted to. But Alfred's curious as to what Gilbert's doing. Still, he's also nervous.

"Look," Gilbert starts off, sighing, "I'm...sorry, for how I treated you in the past. It was— _I_ was a jerk and...I'm sorry for that, really." He looks sorry, Alfred can tell he means this, which surprises and confuses him.

"It's alright Gilbert, everyone does stupid shit when they're young." There's silence for a beat. "You know, Mathias told me awhile ago that you had some problems at home. If it had helped you to do that then...I don't think I'd change anything if I could."

Gilbert just stares at him, something like awe in his face, before the next thing Alfred knows, warm lips have descended on his own and Gilbert's other hand has come up to rest on the other side of his head, trapping him completely now. His books are squished between their bodies, but Alfred doesn't notice because Gilbert is kissing him.

_Gilbert_  is  _kissing_ him.

He has half a mind to push Gilbert away and maybe punch him in the face too, but there's a desperation to this act which stops him. He can feel it in the way Gilbert's hands have moved down, one on his bicep and the other on his hip, grip sure and strong. He can also feel it in the way Gilbert kisses him, pressing their mouths together firmly and swiping his tongue along Alfred's lips. But Alfred doesn't get a chance to respond in any way before Gilbert breaks the kiss, and they spend a single moment sharing air between them before Gilbert pushes away from him and heads to his own car, not saying one word to Alfred.

Alfred for his part is still standing against the beam, lips parted slightly and lungs weakly pulling in oxygen, heart beating quickly and there's an ache there now that makes his brows furrow, and he frowns.

What just happened?

* * *

Alfred more confused in the following months than he's ever been in his life.

Nevertheless, he talks less and less with Mathias, and comes into contact with Gilbert even less than before. He still has that silly crush on Mathias, but now it's vying for a place in his heart with feelings for  _Gilbert_ , which confuses the hell out of him and frustrates him to no end.

But, he pushes them to the back of his mind, and as graduation rolls around and he says goodbye to high school and hello to college, he looks forward to starting his life. But the feelings are still there, simmering in the back of his mind and heart and waiting for just the right time to bowl him over. Too bad it's going to happen a lot sooner than he'd thought it would.


	2. Marriage and Parties

Alfred doesn't ask for much in life.

He simply wants to get his degree, get a job, and settle down somewhere. Is that too much to ask for? Does he really need this torture, this mind numbing repetition?

No, he doesn't, but after three years of college he's learned to deal with it.

Alfred and the rest of the students are bored practically to tears as their professor drones on and on about...something. Shit, Alfred should know but he's just so tired. And based on last week's test(and every test before that), nothing she says is even going to be of any importance. Alfred's greatest friend in this class is his textbook.

Well, maybe not his greatest friend, but a treasured one all the same. His greatest friend has to be the short young man sitting beside him, who's also his dorm mate, Tino. The blond is majoring in...counseling? Something that deals with helping others. That's why he's taking psychology, which is currently the class they're both sitting in. Tino seems interested enough but he's taking notes from the lecture and the book in tandem, which Alfred thinks is a pretty good idea but he's not motivated enough to follow suit. This class is only for his general education after all, and the last one he needs too. Next semester it'll be all the music he could listen to or play. He's looking forward to receiving the cello his grandfather had that he in no way knows is going to be his birthday gift this year.

The professor ends her dull lecture, calling out the homework that'll be due next week. She also reminds everyone that the final is in a month, and that if they want to pass they better start studying. Alfred grabs his notebook and stashes it in his bag. Finally to be free of this class...it's an unexpectedly great feeling, considering he's just being let out of class. Nothing too exciting really, but when you're sitting for almost three hours, listening to the most monotonous voice ever talk about things not even important enough to be on tests? Well, it's the small things in life which sometimes bring the most joy.

"Hey, Tino," Alfred calls out, walking alongside the shorter blond. "You heading to the Culinary Arts building?"

There's a barely perceptible hint of red on the man's cheeks. "Yes, I was planning on doing so. Oh!" Tino smiles at him, a knowing look in his eyes. "It's Friday, isn't it? I'll be sure to bring back some of those cream cheese cupcakes."

"Oh man, thanks so much. I don't know how Berwald does it but those things are the best cupcakes I've ever had."

Tino laughs and says, "It's nothing, I know Berwald secretly loves that you love them so much. He always enjoys it when people find is dishes satisfying."

"Well, he deserves the praise. I would kill to be a guest at his dinner table."

"I don't doubt it," Tino says with amusement shinning in his eyes. He waves at Alfred and walks up the steps to the building, and Alfred's just turning around when he's called out to by Tino. "Oh, hey, are you going to the bar tonight?"

Alfred turns back around and sees Tino holding a large manilla envelope. Alfred wasn't planning on going tonight(he's really tired; it's almost five now and the psychology lectures have him feeling like the walking dead), but he changes his mind in an instant. "Did you go to the hospital again?"

Tino nods and meets Alfred half-way, handing him the thick envelope. "Yeah, and you know how she gets. Always writing little notes or letters. I know her brother goes to see her as much as he can, but...well, it's hard to turn her down, you know?"

Alfred does know, and takes the envelope. He might be tired but this is important. Besides, maybe a drink or two would do him some good. "Oh yeah, I know. I can totally take it to him, no problem."

"Thanks Alfred. I'll grab some of those chocolate truffles while I'm in the kitchen too, as a thank you," Tino says, and Alfred could kiss him.

"Oh jeez, Tino, I love you. What did I ever do to deserve a friend like you?"

Tino smiles and leans in. "Thanks Alfred, but they're out of the strawberry ones."

Alfred laughs and shrugs. "Well it was worth a shot. See you later Tino."

They wave goodbye to each other, and Alfred stops by his dorm to drop his bag off before heading to his car, manilla envelope tucked into his side.

* * *

Only about ten minutes pass before he steps foot in the bar. It's filled with men and women who've just gotten off work, and are now drowning in their shot glasses. Some look his way, just to see who's come in, but most go about their drinking and pay him no mind.

He walks up to the bar, taking a seat near the door. He doesn't plan to stay long, just deliver the notes, drink whatever the bartender forces on him, then he's going home to sleep forever. Yeah, that sounds good to him.

He really needs to get out of the habit of assuming his life is normal, and that everything will go the way he wants it to.

As soon as he gets comfortable and sets the envelope on the bar counter, a small glass of some blue liquid is placed in front of him. He looks up in exasperation at his friend.

"Why are you always pushing drinks on me? Are you trying to get me drunk or something?"

"Or something," Ivan responds, then looks pointedly at the envelope. "Is that...?"

"Yep," Alfred says, sliding it across the counter. Ivan slings the rag in his hands over his shoulder and takes the package. He studies it, particularly the cursive addressing it to him, before placing it out of sight underneath the bar. It's something he always does, as he prefers to read it's contents in private.

"So," Alfred says, pausing to take a sip. The blue beverage has a tart, fruity edge to it. Alfred approves. "Talk to Francis lately?"

Ivan takes the rag and turns it around his hands, a habit usually done to the scarf he likes to wear when not working. Alfred knows it means Ivan knows something but doesn't feel he should tell.

"Ivan?"

"No, I uh...I called too late. But Arthur answered."

Alfred perks up at this because Arthur is just as good a source of information as Francis, though it takes some prying to get anything out of him. "Well? What did he say?"

"Alfred...I don't know if I should tell you. Arthur probably wants to tell you himself."

Alfred downs the rest of his drink, and Ivan takes his glass. "Come on Ivan, you know me. Now that I know you know you have to tell me. You can't leave me here to die from suspense."

Ivan still looks unsure but leans in anyway. "Okay, I'll tell you, but you have to act surprised when Arthur tells you, got it?"

"On my honor," Alfred says, even holding up a hand.

"They're getting married."

If Alfred had been drinking he honestly would have spit everything out. "No way. Are you fucking with me?"

"No, Arthur told me himself. They're planning for it to be early next year."

"Well I'll be damned. Who would have guessed, huh? Seems like they want to kill each other more often than they want to love each other."

Ivan shrugs. "Love just works like that I guess. Anyway, you staying long?"

"Not this time, I had psychology today and I'm always dead tired after that class. I'm just gonna head back to the dorm and study for finals."

"Another drink would help you relax, don't you think?"

"Goodbye, Ivan," Alfred says firmly, "See ya—when are working next week?"

"Wednesday through Saturday."

"Alright see ya Wednesday."

Alfred leaves the bar, squeezing past the large group of people who've just entered. Once out on the street he takes a deep breath and heads back to his car.

* * *

The dorm should be quiet at this time of day. Or morning he should say, since it's only...nine thirty, the clock reads. Groaning, Alfred rolls over and picks up his cell phone, which is vibrating and ringing loudly on the table next to him. Without checking who it is he answers.

"H'llo," he mutters, not quite awake yet. This is suppose to be his sleep-in day, and he doesn't take kindly to those who ruin it.

"Alfred? Are you awake?"

Unless that person happens to be his friend since forever. "Yeah, what's up Arthur?" He sits up and decides to just get up now, why waste the morning away, right?

"I want to talk to you, it's important. Have you eaten anything yet?"

His stomach growls at just the mention of food. "Nope, you want to meet at the usual place?"

"That's fine, I'll see you in a bit."

"'Kay." Alfred hangs up and yawns. He looks around and sees that Tino either never returned last night or left early this morning. Alfred's leaning towards the former, which is a bummer because that means those delicious cupcakes haven't made their way to his dorm yet. A shame, really, and torture for his poor stomach since he knows Tino's got them.

He showers, dresses, grabs his keys and is out the door in record time. It had sunken in while he was showering that Arthur probably wanted to tell him about the wedding, which Alfred is still amazed by the news of, but nonetheless giddy as hell. He knew Arthur and Francis would always end up married. Hell, they already bickered enough for it.

The small cafe he and Arthur sometimes eat at is just around the corner of the college campus, so he walks there, hands in his pockets and a little tune on his lips.

When he arrives he sees Arthur sitting at one of the tables outside, and moves to joins him. Arthur straightens up when he notices Alfred approaching.

"Hey," Alfred greets, sitting down. Arthur nods back at him. "Did you order already?"

"Yes," Arthur says, "I ordered what you always get, disturbing though it is for me to watch you consume it."

Alfred smiles and they sit there in silence for a long while. Arthur's fidgety, moving in his seat in an uncharacteristic manner that has Alfred raising a brow. "Didn't you want to talk about something?" Alfred asks. As amusing as it is to watch Arthur squirm, he wants to get on with this meeting, preferably so he can return home to sleep some more, or maybe watch a movie. Something that involved putting pajamas back on.

"Ah, yes, that's why I called you, that's right," Arthur says, and Alfred sees him bring his hands together, and there's a new ring on a particular finger. Alfred's smile widens.

"Go on," he says slowly, enjoying this immensely. Arthur clears his throat and opens his mouth, only to close it not a moment later. He repeats this, as if trying to find the right words to start with. Giving up, he hesitantly shows Alfred his left hand, deciding to show rather than tell.

Alfred makes a show of not understanding by subtly shaking his head, until he lets out a gasp. "Dude, are you getting married!" He says loudly and with as much surprise he can muster, which is quite a lot because he's such a damn awesome actor. Seriously, he should be staring in movies.

Arthur's red in the face as he looks around and shushes Alfred. "Keep it down will you? I don't want the whole neighborhood hearing."

"Sorry," Alfred laughs, and takes Arthur's hand to inspect the ring. It's a simple gold band. "So who asked who, huh? Come on, spill."

Arthur grumbles but Alfred knows he dying to talk about this. Somehow Arthur doesn't look as grumpy as he usually does.

"Alright, calm down. If you must know, I asked him."

"What?" Alfred says a little disbelievingly, drawing out the word. He'd honestly been expecting Francis to ask Arthur, if they ever did end up getting married. "Well how'd you do it?"

"Are you expecting some sort of whimsical tale about 'The Perfect Night' or something? How do you think I asked him? We were together and I decided I wanted to spend the rest of my life like this. So I got down on one knee, showed him the ring, and asked him to marry me." Arthur shrugs like it's no big deal. "Of course he said yes, so now we just have to plan the wedding."

Their breakfast arrives at this moment, and Alfred's distracted by the food because he immediately stuffs his face in a way he knows disgusts yet intrigues Arthur("How do you not choke? For God's sake, slow down before you pass out or something!"). He does swallow what's in his mouth before talking though, to spare Arthur from some of his barbaric ways.

"Well that's great Arthur, I'm really happy for you two. I just can't believe you're getting married! Aren't you a little young?"

Arthur pats his mouth with his napkin(and seriously, how much more proper could this guy get?)and says, "I hardly think twenty four is too young to get married. Besides, aren't you a little too young to be partying all the time as you do?"

"Arthur, I don't think twenty one's too young to party. You can never be too young to party."

"Good God, twenty one already? I'd never have known what with your wily ways and your disgusting eating habits. As it is you barely look a day over eighteen! And Heaven knows you have the mindset of a six year old," Arthur teases, all in good fun. Arthur's twenty four and Alfred's twenty one, but they can't be more different when it comes to 'acting one's age.' Alfred does act like a child at times(expect when he's at parties—then he's just a normal twenty one year old man), while Arthur seems perpetually stuck behaving like someone already in their fifties.

"Ha ha," Alfred mocks a laugh, smiling back. They finish off their meals in relative silence, making small talk every once in a while and enjoying the sun's rays through the clouds rolling in. When they both are done, they pay and part ways, Arthur heading back to his house(presumably), while Alfred decides to go shopping for some groceries him and Tino need.

* * *

The cupcakes aren't there and no sign of Tino when he gets back, two bags of groceries in his hands. He sets them as best he can on the small counter that is their 'kitchen,' and proceeds to put them away. He's thinking of turning on some music when there's a knock at his door.

Setting down some trail mix, he opens the door, not expecting anyone but certainly not expecting Arthur and Francis. Didn't he and Arthur just have breakfast? What are they both doing here?

" _Hello_  Alfred!" Francis says, giving him a hug, " _How are you this_ _gorgeous_ _day?_ "

" _I'm fine,_ " he says back in French, but switches to English again because his knowledge of other languages is limited, "though a little confused."

"Arthur here seems to have forgotten to ask you something," Francis says, pushing Arthur towards Alfred, like close physical proximity is going to force the words out. "Go on dear, ask him."

"Francis," Arthur starts, holding his hands up, "I don't really think now's a good time—"

"Nonsense," Francis says, waving Arthur's comment away. He slings an arm around Arthur's shoulders. "I'm sure he's dying to know."

Alfred stands there, confused and a little amused. "Dying to know what guys? Come on, you have to tell me now."

Arthur sighs, and braces himself. "Alfred, we want you to be a Best Man. My Best Man, actually."

Alfred is uncomprehending at first. Best...Man? As in,  _The_  Best Man, at the wedding? By Arthur's side? Then Alfred thinks back to that morning, when Arthur had been poking fun at him but what he'd said is true. Alfred is childish at times, and he accepts that about himself. No point in living life if it's not fun, and only you can make it that way. But being the Best Man at a wedding is...it showed Arthur thinks better of him, and though he won't cry it's a close thing.

"Are you...Are you serious? You want me to be your Best Man?"

Arthur sighs and steps out from under Francis's arm, putting both hands on Alfred's shoulders. "Alfred, there's no one I'd rather have by my side." Alfred's definitely not crying or even tearing up, but his smile's watery all the same. Arthur's words mean a lot to him, and he's honored that they even considered him for the position.

"I'd love to!" He says, reaching forward to engulf Arthur in a bone-snapping hug. Arthur wheezes out a "Great," and Alfred's so happy he reaches for Francis too, picking them up easily and practically crushing the both of them.

He sets them down after a moment, and both take deep breaths now that their lungs aren't being compressed, but they're smiling at him and Alfred's never felt so happy. "What about Mattie?"

"Matthew will be my Best Man," Francis says, straightening out his attire and chuckling, "He reacted just like you."

"It was quite extraordinary," Arthur says, also fixing his appearance, "I've never seen him lift two grown men."

"Yeah, well, Mattie and me are alike in more ways than just appearance."

"Matthew and I," Arthur corrects, and Alfred rolls his eyes.

Just then, Tino walks in through the door. "Oh! Hello," he greets politely. Alfred can see the container full of cupcakes under some papers he's holding.

"Are those the cupcakes?" He asks, not drooling or even salivating more than usual. He's perfectly in control.

"Yes," Tino says, throwing his papers onto his bed and handing Alfred the box. "Fresh from the oven this morning."

Alfred doesn't mention that Tino should have been getting the cupcakes yesterday, and why was he in the C. A. building this morning? Did he even return to their dorm? Alfred thinks not, but doesn't bring it up. Instead he almost rips the box trying to open it in his haste, and feels like crying tears of joy when he sees the cupcakes, sitting pretty in neat little rows and looking like a gift from God.

He takes one and starts eating it, and it takes a lot not to moan because dear Lord, this is the greatest damn cupcake he's ever had. He holds the box out to Arthur and Francis, barely managing to clear his mouth before saying, "You've got to try one, I promise you you've never had a better cupcake."

"Maybe later," Arthur says, and Alfred remembers they've just eaten like, an hour or so before. Francis, however, is not one to pass up any sweets. He takes one and examines it before biting in.

He chews slowly, and a smile makes it's way onto his face. "Arthur, you must try some of this," he says, holding out the cupcake for him. Arthur tries to decline again, but Francis shoves the cupcake at his mouth, barely managing to keep the frosting where it belongs on the cupcake instead of on his face. Arthur gives Francis a look before taking the cupcake and also biting into it. His sour expression quickly lightens up. "Oh."

"It is magnificent, is it not?" Francis says, then turns to Tino. "Did you make these?"

"Uh, no, my friend did."

"You must take me to this friend of yours at once," Francis says, and Tino looks to Alfred. Alfred swallows the rest of his cupcake. "Tino, this is Francis Bonnefoy. Francis, Tino."

Even without more introduction than that, Tino's eyes widen. "O-Oh, of The Lily Pad?"

"The very same, yes. I'd like to talk to..."

"Berwald! His name's Berwald," Tino says quickly. No doubt he's realized that Francis knowing of Berwald and his skills could really help the young man out, since Francis is very prevalent in the cooking industry. "He's in the Culinary Arts kitchen right now if you have time?"

"Of course!" Francis says, and he and Arthur bid Alfred goodbye before following after Tino to go see Berwald.

Alfred sets the cupcakes down and finishes putting away all the groceries. When he's done he sits down himself and looks at the clock. The numbers  _11:00_  blink back at him. For the first time in a while Alfred doesn't know what to do. He doesn't have homework, nor does he feel like studying for finals just yet. Arthur and Francis are obviously occupied at the moment, and Ivan's probably at the hospital, so the bar's out, as is the electronics store Ivan works at during most daylight hours. He could go visit another friend of his, Kiku, and they could play video games all day but...Alfred feels like being alone for the moment. Grabbing his keys, he decides to go for a walk.

* * *

It's almost eight now, and Alfred's just finished getting dressed when there's a knock on his door. He tucks in the deep blue dress shirt he's wearing and reaches for the door. His face stares back at him when he opens it.

"Mattie!" Alfred greets, and envelops his brother in a hug. Matthew returns it, though not as enthusiastically. He's happy to see his brother, but Alfred's always exaggerated his movements.

"Ready?" Matthew asks. Matthew is dressed nearly identical to Alfred, the only difference being the color of his shirt. Alfred's is a deep blue, while Matthew's is a reddish-purple, almost magenta but more red. His tie, like Alfred's, is solid black, as are their dress pants.

"Yes," Alfred says, checking his pockets. Feeling his wallet in one and his keys in the other, he locks the door and steps into the hall with Matthew.

Earlier, Alfred had received a phone call from Tino, which wasn't unusual, but the man's almost incoherent babbling sure had been. When Alfred got Tino to talk slower, he learned that Francis had been so impressed with Berwald's technique that he offered him a job, right there in the C.A. Building.

To celebrate the new addition to his restaurant, Francis decided to throw a party, and told Tino and Berwald to invite their friends. And of course Alfred wouldn't miss it, but knowing Arthur and given the location of the impromptu celebration, everyone would be expected to dress nicely. Alfred had passed that bit of information to Tino before their call ended, and now he's heading to The Lily Pad with Matthew.

While staring out the window of Matthew's car, Alfred thinks about the party. Berwald's been given the chance to work in a professional restaurant, like he's wanted to for the past several years. His skills have been noticed, and he's moving up in life. It makes Alfred think about his own life, but not his future. He thinks about his past, and what could have been. Maybe if he'd just told Mathias all those years ago how he felt, it could be them getting married, or moving into a house or apartment together. What would it have been like, waking up next to someone everyday, making breakfast together and enjoying each other's company?

Or maybe Gilbert? After Gilbert had kissed him in the parking lot, and after he'd come to terms that he felt  _something_  for Gilbert, though not as strong a something as he felt for Mathias, he could have easily gotten together with the German. It's obvious Gilbert would have returned his feelings, if the kiss was any indicator. He could have pursued that direction to his life, and who knows where that would have led him?

He's brought out of his musing when Matthew's car comes to a stop. He can see the bright green and pink of The Lily Pad's sign glowing in the darkness. He follows after Matthew and exits the car.

Arthur's standing outside the restaurant, greeting people. Francis may own the restaurant, and be the head chef, but Arthur's the one who's good at finances, and so is the manager. Not to mention he has perfect etiquette and only the highest respect for those that dine at their restaurant.

Arthur hands them each a slip of paper, not breaking his conversation with the couple he was already speaking to. They enter the restaurant and hand the slips to the host, who calls over a waiter to lead them to their table, where a number of people have gathered already. Francis had the back reserved for their little get together, and as he didn't know how many people would be attending, sectioned off the entire area.

Tino's there, speaking to Ivan and Katyusha, Ivan's sister and someone Alfred's surprised to see out of the hospital. She's incredible prone to becoming sick at the slightest of exposures, but her medication must be superb since she's allowed out of the hospital. Another fair haired young man is sitting next to Tino, who Alfred thinks is named Emil. His friend Kiku is there too, along with Kiku's older brother and Arthur's friend Yao. On the next table over sits Feliciano, his brother Lovino, and their and Francis's friend Antonio. Next to Antonio is that jerk(in Alfred's opinion)Carlos, and next to him a young blonde named Bella.

Alfred takes the seat between Ivan and Kiku, greeting everyone within earshot. Matthew sits next to Katyusha.

"Where's Berwald?" Alfred asks Tino. Tino looks over Alfred's shoulder, to the kitchen.

"Francis is giving him a tour." Tino smiles, something like love in his eyes. "I've never seen Berwald so animated about anything before. You know how he is. Usually he's very reserved, but he's wanted this for a long time now. It's great seeing him like this."

"Well you have yourself to thank for that, don't you? If you hadn't arrived at the dorm when you did, Francis wouldn't have been able to taste those cupcakes," Alfred reminds him, snagging a piece of bread from the middle of the table. Tino definitely blushes this time.

"I guess..." he mumbles.

They talk pleasantly for a time. Matthew asks Katyusha about her and her treatments, Alfred talks with Kiku about a game he's stuck on, while, interesting enough, Ivan, Yao, and Tino talk(argue)about alcohol. On the next table over Lovino's hand is practically glued to his forehead as Feliciano and Antonio talk and embarrass him. Bella has her hand on Lovino's shoulder in comfort and understanding while Carlos looks like he doesn't really want to be there.

Berwald and Francis return, and Alfred lifts a glass up to toast Berwald's new job. The towering man ducks his head and, no joke, smiles as everyone congratulates him. A new voice rings out, joining the many cheers, and some people, including Alfred, turn to greet the newcomers. Only, when Alfred sees who is standing next to Arthur, surprised paints its way across his face.

"Oh my God," Alfred says.


	3. Football Players and Personal Trainers

God he was stupid.

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

He was so stupid he stunned himself, and now, because of his actions earlier that day, he was pacing in his room like a nervous wreck. Like a stupid nervous wreck.

He just—it's unbelievable how dumb he is!

He pauses when he hears his mother call him and his brother down for dinner. Running a hand through his hair, he breathes for a second before heading downstairs.

Dinner's quiet. He usually fills the silence with his babble about his own day, since his brother and their parents are naturally quiet, but it's just one more thing which sets him apart from his family.

"How was your day dear?" His mother asks. "You've been quiet. Is something wrong?"

Now, Gilbert doesn't like lying to his mother, but in this case, he's totally justified. "I'm fine mom, just thinking about finals."

Silence reigns once more, and Gilbert feels like bashing his head against a wall.

[][][]

Back in his own room, he shuts the door and sits at his desk, leaning back dangerously to stare at the ceiling.

He recalls earlier that day, after school, when he'd cornered Alfred and practically assaulted the boy. Gilbert puts a hand over his eyes.

Wasn't he trying to not act like an asshat? Then where the hell had that come from?

Well, that's obvious, actually. Gilbert knows very well where it had come from—where it still comes from. It had developed so slowly, that one day it completely blindsided him.

And he felt horrible all of a sudden. All he did was pick on Alfred, but to develop... _feelings_  for the boy? Life sure is a cruel bitch, because surely there is no way Alfred wants anything to do with him, not after how terrible Gilbert had treated him. And yeah, he finally got a clue and left Alfred alone midway through Junior year, but that doesn't excuse his past actions.

Ah, it's all so fucked up! Gilbert swings around in his chair, facing his room. He's got energy and nowhere to expend it. He's finished his homework(to Ludwig's amazement, the bastard), and now he's just sitting at his desk, twiddling his thumbs like a complete moron.

This is pathetic.

Having had enough of this, Gilbert springs up and decides to go out for a walk—just to clear his head, not because he's silently wishing for a piano to fall from the sky and crush him. He tells his parents, who are doing the dishes, that he's going out for a bit, then he leaves.

He doesn't have a destination in mind, since this is kind of an impromptu outing, but his feet seem to know just where to take him.

He walks past block after block, until he comes to a stop outside of a certain house, with a certain family, and certain see-through curtains. He can see Alfred and his brother Matthew, who had graduated last year. Gilbert wonders why he's back, but thinks about graduation and realizes Matthew's probably going to want to see his little brother graduate.

The brothers are on the couch, watching or playing something, and Gilbert can see Alfred elbowing and trying to get in front of Matthew. A game then, Gilbert decides, and jealously wishes  _he_  could play video games with Alfred.

When he returns home he doesn't feel any better.

[][][]

Graduation comes, and goes, and an opportunity is presented to Gilbert and Ludwig. Their father, now that the boys are out of high school, has accepted a job position out of town. Like, really out of town.

In Germany.

It's not until the beginning of next year that he'll make the move. Ludwig immediately declines, because(overachiever as he is in Gilbert's opinion)his straight As and hard work land him right on the path to a great college he's going to succeed in.

Gilbert, however, isn't too sure about his future. Don't get him wrong, he was never  _bad_  in school, but he definitely didn't do that well either. Until Senior year, that is, when he matured and realized that bullying kids isn't an effective strategy to graduate high school. His senior year, to his and everyone's amazement, is filled with four Bs and two As: in other words, the best he's done in school yet.

And he really owes it to Alfred, or more precisely, to his feelings for Alfred.

Alfred did well in high school. Gilbert knows Mathias received tutoring from Alfred a few years ago, because he remembers teasing Mathias about it. But Alfred's the reason Mathias passed that math class, and most of his classes the following years, even though he wasn't receiving direct help from the blond.

And Gilbert's sure Alfred was taking AP and Honors classes by Senior year. And the main reasoning behind his sudden transformation into a model student? Smart kids like Alfred don't want dumb kids like Gilbert, and boy did that fucking hurt to think.

So he worked and studied between games, and quit the team senior year to do so. Football's great, he enjoyed it while he was participating, but he's not that invested in the sport. Mathias had wanted to try out, and Gilbert knew it was a great way to get in with the popular crowds, so he joined his friend, and made the team. But he felt from then on that his place was somewhere else.

Gilbert didn't want to leave America, because that would mean leaving Alfred, and all his work had been because and for the boy. But...was it enough? Gilbert wasn't planning on going to college(his senior year might have been okay, but every preceding year is questionable). And yeah, there's always community college, and then there's always no college as well.

But now, there's Germany.

Gilbert takes his father up on the offer, and he, his mother, and his father move to Germany in January.

[][][]

When he steps off the plane, back in America for the first time in three years, and makes his way through the airport, he sees Ludwig waiting patiently by the baggage claim. They embrace in a very(and probably overly)manly way, then part to catch up.

Gilbert's time in Germany has given him an accent. Being of German descent, both he and Ludwig were taught German by their parents, but since they were both born and raised in America, they lacked the accent.

Gilbert finds out that Ludwig has risen through the ranks to become a financial administrator, or some other such important person to the company. Gilbert tells Ludwig of his job at the gym as a personal trainer-in-training. Ludwig asks after their parents, and Gilbert responds that they're fine, and well enough off, and that they don't talk much more than Ludwig does with them because he found his own place in Germany a couple months after moving there. He laughs and tells Ludwig of his roommate, a feisty and fiery brunette named Elizabeta. He says that Ludwig would have gotten along great with Elizabeta's boyfriend Roderich.

Since they are still waiting for Gilbert's luggage, Ludwig tells Gilbert of some friends he thinks Gilbert would get along with as well, and mentions something about a party taking place at that moment. Ludwig then says he's going to work out with a friend tomorrow, and Gilbert should come along and meet him. He thinks, out of everyone, Gilbert might be the most like this young man. Gilbert agrees to accompany Ludwig to the gym, and expresses excitement at being given the chance to embarrass Ludwig in front of his friends.

* * *

Mathias sits on the floor, leaning against his door. He looks around his empty room, feeling the whole spectrum of emotions. Anxious, excited, sad, happy. His emotions settle on one before suddenly switching to another.

Once Monday comes, he'll be leaving for college across the country. He's been accepted into a college where he'll be on the football team, and this college is one of the few where most professional football players come from. For that he can't wait to leave, but he can't help but feel sad because he's leaving everything he's ever known.

His friends, his family, his whole childhood is here. Christmas, Halloween, scraped knees and camping in backyards.

He takes a deep breath and wipes a hand across his eyes.

Someone knocks and Mathias scrambles to stand up, now wiping furiously at his eyes to rid all evidence of when he was totally not crying. It only serves to make his eyes look redder and he agonizes over what to do for a moment before accepting he's only made it worse and gives up.

When he opens the door his mother is standing there, and when she sees his red eyes she smiles.

"Oh Mathias," she says, and pulls him close for a hug. He's a fair bit taller than she is, so she settles for letting Mathias cling on to her, as he hasn't done for a few years now. Her little boy is all grown up, and she's equally proud of him and saddened by his departure.

She smooths a hand over his hair, and they pull apart. She puts her hand on his cheek, rubbing her thumb under his eye.

"It's alright to be sad. And just remember that you'll always be welcomed back home."

Mathias smiles back at her and says, "Thanks mom."

[][][]

The next day(Sunday, so close to Monday and Mathias desperately wishes for more time), Mathias gets a call from Gilbert. He demands they meet, and tells Mathias he's going to come to Gilbert's house in ten minutes. Mathias hesitantly agrees(not that Gilbert's giving him a choice—he knows Gilbert actually would come over and drag him there), and so makes sure he has his phone, keys, and wallet before telling his mom he's going to Gilbert's.

Once he parks in front of Gilbert's house, he finds it strange that the lights are off. That should be a pretty strong indicator that something's not right, but his mind's so muddled with his move and college that he doesn't connect the dots.

He knocks, but no one answers. He tries the doorknob, because sometimes Gilbert's such a lazy bastard he can't even get up to answer the door so Mathias has to let himself in. The door opens, and it's dark inside.

"Really Gilbert?" Mathias mutters, because he could have at least turned the lights on for him. He feels around the wall for the light switch, because it's damn dark in here.

As soon as the lights flicker on, Mathias gets a surprise.

The room is decorated, like for a party. There are streamers, and balloons, there's a cake and drinks laid out. It baffles Mathias to see Gilbert's living room like this. However, there's no one there.

"...Hello?" He calls out. He takes a few steps into the room, and then suddenly Gilbert walks in.

"Oh hey," Gilbert says, very nonchalantly and Mathias is just standing there, the picture of exasperated confusion.

"Hey," he says back, then sort of, gestures around. "What's going on?"

"What, you've never seen a party before?" Gilbert snorts and takes a sip of his drink.

Maybe he took a wrong turn and ended up in the twilight zone? "This is a party?"

Gilbert rolls his eyes and moves over to the side. "Hardly. How can it be without the guest of honor?"

At Gilbert's words, people jump up from their crouched positions around the room and yell, "Surprise!" It makes Mathias jump, and he's not any less confused because it takes a beat for Gilbert's words to sink in.  _Guest of honor?_

He's bombarded with hugs, from the classmates he's befriended to the boys on his football team. Some of the girls are tearing up when they hug him, and maybe some of the guys too, if he's not hallucinating(which, at this moment, is debatable).

One person in particular comes up to hug him, and he's just as shocked to see him as he is thrilled. It's Alfred, who he hasn't talked to in forever, which is practically a crime.

Both Alfred and his brother are there, and then after them Gilbert comes up to him.

"In case you haven't figured it out yet, this is your going away party. Live it up man!" Gilbert laughs, pats him on the shoulder, then walks away.

He should be getting to bed early, because he has a long trip ahead of him, but he can't bring himself to leave. All these people—all his friends—have come to say goodbye to him, and wish him a good trip, and have unknowingly made him feel a hundred times better, because this truly will be his home forever.

The party seems to fly by, which is to be expected when a bunch of rowdy kids congregate in one area. Throughout the party Mathias has been trying to talk to Alfred, but his attention's always stolen by people wishing him well.

In the end, it's Gilbert who takes him by the arm and swings him around so he's right in front of Alfred, who pauses in his conversation with Matthew to stare at them. He looks between them with a strange expression before settling on Gilbert.

"Can we help you with something?" Alfred asks, and Gilbert shakes his head.

"No, but Matthew can help  _me_. Come on." Gilbert lets go of Mathias and takes Matthew's arm, diverting him away from Alfred and Mathias.

Alfred watches them go, then turns back towards Mathias. "Well that was weird."

"That's Gilbert, I guess." Mathias shrugs.

He and Alfred stand there awkwardly for a bit, looking away. Every once in a while Mathias glances at Alfred.

"So," Alfred starts, fidgeting from one foot to the other. "I heard this college of yours is pretty good."

"Yeah," Mathias says, "It was hard to get into but worth it." Mathias pauses to think about what to say next, then whether or not he should. He goes for it. "You know, I'd never have gotten in if it wasn't for you."

"Really?" Alfred asks. The drinks are either spiked or he's blushing.

"Yeah, I mean, remember Sophomore year? In math? I realized how much time I was putting into football, and while I tried to balance it with school I wasn't doing too well at it. But with your help I passed that class, and decided to really work on schoolwork just as much as football. And because of it I was able to go to the college I really wanted to so...thanks."

Alfred's answering smile just about melts him. "I'm glad I could help you so much. I had no idea that session made you so determined to do better in school."

Gilbert comes around and steals Alfred away after that, and eventually the party winds down enough so that only Alfred, Matthew, and Mathias are left.

There's an opportunity Mathias knows is here he could take, but  _should_  he take it? This is the end to the last day he's going to be in this town. The last day he's going to see Gilbert, or Alfred.

Alfred who he's had a crush on for like, three years. It's been sitting in his heart, aching every time he sees the boy. Since Sophomore year he's been infatuated with the sunny boy, but he's done nothing for it because of uncertainty.

He's pretty sure Alfred's not gay, which is kind of a big deal. So he's kept his feelings to himself, and now they sit, festering at the bottom of his heart.

He leaves with only a goodbye, and one last hug between him and Gilbert, and him and Alfred.

[][][]

His cousin calls him one day, saying his old friend Berwald is getting a job at a very well-known restaurant, and that Mathias would be a dick not to attend. Unable to find fault with that perfect logic, Mathias books a flight to his old home town, which he's dying to see again.

His cousin Lukas meets him at the airport, and they catch up for a bit while waiting for his luggage. Or, Lukas snarks at him while Mathias rolls his eyes and agrees.

They arrive at the restaurant(and Mathias can see how fancy this place is, no wonder Lukas made him wear a nice dress shirt), and are directed in by Arthur Kirkland, who he's honestly surprised to see. He could have sworn Arthur was going to move to England, or at least away from America to get away from such "barbaric savages with no manners at all."

As Arthur leads them to the back, he slings an arm around Lukas's shoulders(which he knows,  _he knows_  it bugs the hell out of his cousin), and they arrive just as Berwald's being congratulated.

* * *

Alfred almost can't breathe when he sees Mathias there. It's like, the last three years apart have meant nothing, and in reality only a few days have passed, and all these feelings come rushing back.

The first thing he notices is how much bigger Mathias seems, when it comes to muscle mass. The man is huge! Football really toughed him out, it looks like. The second thing he notices is Mathias's smile, which he hasn't seen for three years and realizes he's practically starved for.

But then he notices Mathias's arm around...Lukas's shoulders? That must be what Emil meant when he said his brother was going to be a little late. However, he looks miffed but accepting of Mathias's casual touch. Alfred wonders if something happened between them in high school. He knows it's not right to feel...what, betrayed? Hurt? He hasn't seen Mathias for three years, nor does he know their past.

Nonetheless, he puts on a smile and stands to greet them.

"Mathias!" He says, holding a hand out. He almost feels like a love-struck teenager with how hard his heart's beating. "What are you doing here?"

"I could say the same to you," Mathias laughs, and firmly shakes his hand.

Lukas shrugs off Mathias's arm and goes to sit next to his brother while Alfred sits back down in his seat. Mathias sits between Matthew and Berwald.

"Congratulations man," Mathias says to Berwald, who nods and thanks him. All this attention is getting to Berwald, who's usually very happy being in the background and letting Tino do all the talking, though both of them are naturally quiet.

"How long are you in town for?" Alfred asks, trying and probably failing at sounding casual, like he doesn't even care what Mathias's answer is.

"Around two weeks. I've been meaning to visit for some time now, and Berwald here gave me the perfect reason."

"Glad to have you back," Alfred says, and the rest of the night dissolves into wine and talking and general good cheer.

* * *

The next day, Alfred wakes up early(though he's still tired from last night), but if he doesn't show up at the gym Ludwig will literally throw him over his shoulder and carry him out his door, so seven o'clock wake up call it is.

He does some quick stretches, and gets dressed. He's a little earlier than usual, so he munches on a granola bar while thinking about last night and Mathias's appearance.

He's thrilled about Mathias being here again, but two weeks is nothing. And then Mathias will be back across the country, and who knows when he'll be back? His feelings may not be strong, but they're there all the same. If only Mathias hadn't moved away in the first place. If only Gilbert hadn't moved away, if he thinks about it. The two boys he liked(well, one wasn't liked that much, but he was coming around)both moved away, one of them pretty far. Would he ever even see Gilbert again? Probably not.

He checks his watch and decides being a little early won't hurt no one, so he shoulders his gym bag, locks up his dorm, and heads to his car.

When he gets there he sees Ludwig's car already in it's customary spot, which doesn't surprise him at all.

He walks in and greets the desk attendant, yawning into his hand. Once he gets his card back he heads into the locker room to put his bag away.

Then he seeks out Ludwig, so they can begin. This gym has a boxing ring, so he and Ludwig usually warm up trying to beat the other. They're pretty tied when it comes to wins, as Alfred is lighter and knows more about boxing technique, but Ludwig's stronger and uses his strength to force his way through Alfred's defense and offense.

He can see Ludwig, and calls out to him. "Morning Ludwig."

Ludwig and the man standing next to him turn to greet him, and Alfred's incredibly surprised and shocked to see it's Gilbert.

"Gilbert?" He says eloquently, coming to a stop in front of the man. Between Mathias, Ludwig, and Gilbert, Alfred feels like the lesser. Not height-wise, but all three are a fair bit more muscular than him, and he'll admit they look stronger too. And he's not a small guy. But he's busy, what with class, and his part time job, and...his general laziness. Okay, so maybe he doesn't work out as often as he could. He goes once,  _maybe_ twice a week—whatever, he doesn't have to justify himself.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm visiting Ludwig for a couple weeks," Gilbert says, and boy does it take an effort to get more than "uh" out because Alfred's still so damn hot, he's surprised what words he does speak aren't stuttered.

"No way," Alfred says, because what a coincidence. First Mathias, now Gilbert. "That's funny because Mathias is in town too."

"Really? What's he doing back?"

"Ahem," Ludwig coughs, interrupting them. "No time for chit-chat. You can catch up after our workout."

"Right, sorry. You ready to get your ass kicked?" Alfred smirks at Ludwig. Ludwig just shakes his head, and Gilbert's the one who responds. "Actually, we're going up. You and me."

"What?" Alfred says before Gilbert takes him by the wrist and tugs him towards the ring. Ludwig follows at a more subdued pace.

Once settled on the ring Gilbert says, "Show me what you've got pretty boy. Then we'll see who can brag."

Even though it's Gilbert, his competitive side can't let a jab like that go. The bell dings, and they lunge at each other. Similar style, similar strength. Alfred can already tell it's going to be a long day.


	4. Burgers and Bars

Alfred's laying face first on his bed. He can't move, can barely breathe, and he feels like he's going to die.

Everything  _hurts_.

His "workout" with Ludwig and Gilbert, if it can be called that, had been brutal. It'd been punishing, and stupid, and he didn't want to even look at another gym for a few weeks,  _fuck_  whatever Ludwig said about slacking off.

Still, he'd had fun. The workout itself hadn't been that bad. Alfred only realized how screwed he was when he got home and his muscles started stiffening up. Now he can barely lift his head with how bad his shoulders are hurting. Honestly, those two brothers work out like machines!

His cell vibrates against his side, and he considers leaving it because retrieving it would mean lifting his arm and there is no way that's happening anytime soon. But it might be Arthur, or Francis, or his brother...he's better off answering it now.

Groaning as he lifts the phone to his head, he hits the answer button and puts it to his ear. "Hello?"

"Alfred?"

"...Yeah?"

"It's Mathias."

Alfred settles back down on his bed, smiling up at the ceiling. "Oh hey. What's up?"

It's a little hard to understand Mathias because he seems to be tripping over his words, but eventually Alfred hears, "Are you busy tonight?"

No, just incredibly sore and against walking. Or moving at all.

"Nope."

"Do you want to...to come to dinner with me? You know, to catch up, talk, that kind of thing," Mathias says quickly.

He really needs to get his heart checked out by a doctor, because lately its been doing all these weird little jumps and stutters, like it is right now. He takes a moment to breathe before responding.

"Yeah, that sounds great! Just the two of us?" And it does, but Alfred selfishly wishes it was a date and not a time to catch up. The only catching up he wants involves the two of them alone with no clothes on. He blinks and pauses when he finds he can switch the image of Mathias with one of Gilbert.

There's a brief pause, and Alfred wonders if he'd said something, but then Mathias's voice comes back. "Is there someone else you want to invite?"

Oh. Well... "Actually, Gilbert's in town. I know you two were close friends in high school. I just thought you'd maybe want to meet up with him too, since you want to catch up."

Mathias responds much quicker this time. "Oh no way. Uh, yeah, invite him too. I haven't seen him in what, three years now?"

"Yeah, me neither. You have a place in mind or...? Should we all pick one?"

"Let's meet up first. I don't know what I'm feeling like having now that I think about it. How about you and Gilbert come to my place around, say, seven, and we'll go from there."

"Alright, see you in a little bit then."

"Yeah, see ya."

Mathias hangs up and Alfred stares at the ceiling again briefly. He's still a little surprised by the ease with which he thinks about both Mathias and Gilbert in a sexual way.

Still, when he starts stripping to take a shower, it's Gilbert his mind lingers on.

* * *

His call with Gilbert goes like this:

Before he's even completely dry, wearing only loose pajama bottoms, he's in front of his "kitchen," phone to his ear as it rings. He's trying to decide what to have for lunch, because for the last hour he's been ignoring his grumbling stomach and now it's back with a vengeance. However, even though he went shopping the day before, there's nothing that immediately jumps out at him as delicious.

The phone connects. "Hello?" Comes a familiar voice. It's Ludwig.

"Hey Ludwig, it's Alfred. Is Gilbert there?" Maybe some soup? But its too hot for that. He really wants a burger but he's too lazy to get dressed and go buy one. He could make one, he has the patties and that mini portable grill thing advertised on TVs. But he doesn't have buns.

"Yes, hold for a moment please," Ludwig says, and Alfred drums his fingers on the counter.

"Hey there pretty boy. Couldn't get enough huh? You miss me already?" Comes Gilbert's accented voice(in all its strange yet alluring glory)and Alfred rolls his eyes, but there's a genuine smile on his face now.

"You wish. But hey, listen, Mathias is in town."

"No way. Since when?"

"Since yesterday I think, maybe the day before, I'm not sure actually. But I'm going to meet up with him tonight, you know, to catch up and stuff? You're invited, if you want to come." Alfred leans against the counter and nudges the towel he'd dropped on the floor in front of the "kitchen."

"Yeah, I'm in for sure. Where're we meeting?"

"At Mathias's. I can come by and pick you up if Ludwig's using his car."

"Uh, let me ask him..." Alfred waits while Gilbert's distant voice sounds over the phone. He can't make out what they're saying. "I think I'll take you up on that offer. Ludwig's busy tonight, something about missing a party yesterday and having to make up the time with a friend of his."

"Okay, I still have Ludwig's address but let me check—" He's cut off when he walks forward and trips on the towel he'd carelessly thrown to the ground. He lands on his front and gets the wind knocked out of him, and his whole sore body protests his stupidity.  _"Oh fuck, that hurt,"_  he breathes, still clutching the phone tightly. He can barely hear Gilbert's voice calling out to him.

"Alfred? Alfred?"

"I'm here," he wheezes, curling slightly while his lungs attempt to resume a normal breathing pattern. Everything  _hurts!_

"What the hell was that? Are you okay?" Does Gilbert's voice sound worried or did he hit his head as well?

"I'm fine, I just...tripped..." He takes a deep breath and rolls onto his back, rubbing his bruised abdomen. "Fuck, now I'm hungry  _and_ hurting."

He hears a weird sound on Gilbert's end, and presses the phone closer to his ear. "Are you...Are you laughing!"

"No, no," Gilbert says, and yeah, there's no way he wasn't just laughing at Alfred's pain.

Alfred mutters something that sounds like  _bastard_ , but then huffs and threatens to punch him the moment he opens the door to let Alfred in later that night. Gilbert takes a few deep breaths to compose himself.

"Sorry, just...could you be any more of a dork?" He says, amusement everywhere in his voice.

Alfred narrows his eyes, but his cheeks warm just a bit. "Don't make me punch you. I will." Gilbert laughs again.

"So, hungry? I think I heard you say that. Wanna get something to eat?"

"Well I was going to make some hamburgers...but I don't have any buns."

"Oh sweet. That settles it then, I'll be over in a few minutes."

"O...kay?" Alfred says warily, and Gilbert hangs up. He blinks at his phone for several seconds, wondering what that was all about. It lights up in his hand, signaling an incoming call.

"Hello?" He answers.

"How do I get to your school?" Gilbert asks, and this time it's Alfred who laughs.

After relaying the directions to Gilbert, Alfred gets up off the floor, grabs that damn towel, and puts on a shirt. He debates with himself between changing into jeans, and eventually decides to just do it. He gets a text from Tino saying he'll be gone all day(and Alfred is not surprised at all, he practically has the dorm to himself everyday).

He gets out the small grill and sets everything up, and is just drying off his hands when there's a knock on his door. Going over to it, he cracks it open.

"Hey," he says, swinging the door open and stepping aside to let Gilbert in. Gilbert nods to him and sets a package of hamburger buns on the counter.

"Is this what you have?" Gilbert says, picking up the mini grill and inspecting it with a partially disgusted expression. "It should be a crime to have such a shitty grill."

"Hey." Alfred says, elbowing Gilbert in the side. "I payed good money for that. Besides, it cooks meat fine."

"Yeah, 'fine.' I mean, if you're okay with that, then alright, that's cool. I just thought, you know, maybe you'd want to be less of a tool and buy a man's grill, but—" Alfred cuts Gilbert off by putting a hand on his shoulder and spinning him around. He's also smiling in a decidedly unnerving fashion.

"I. Will. Punch you. In the face. If you don't shut the hell up and just  _make us some damn burgers._ "

Gilbert puts his hands up in surrender. "Alright, don't get your panties in a knot. Jeez," Gilbert sighs, and Alfred starts to pull his hand back when Gilbert grabs it quickly, and flips him around, so his arm is pinned behind his back. For good measure, Gilbert also pins him against the nearest wall.

"What was all that about punching me, pretty boy? It's no good to have all bark and no  _bite_ ," Gilbert hisses in his ear, and oh how Alfred imagines Gilbert's free hand sliding up his shirt, or down his pants to...to...

Alfred flushes red when he realizes the position they're in, and though he'd accept where this could lead, he thinks now isn't the time. But he turns his head, and his face is so very close to Gilbert's, close enough to kiss if he wanted to.

(How he wants to.)

"Fine Gilbert," he says softly, relaxing his previously tense posture. "You win, now let me go."

Gilbert makes a show of thinking his words over, and eventually releases him. Alfred turns around, and finds that Gilbert hasn't moved away. There's enough room to maneuver in, but not as much as he prefers. Still, it'll have to do.

Alfred punches Gilbert in the face.

"Ah!" Gilbert gasps, cupping his reddening cheek. Alfred smiles cutely at him. "What was that about having no bite?" He taunts, and Gilbert, despite the pain in his cheek, smiles back.

* * *

Gilbert ends up staying until the time they're suppose to meet with Mathias.

In that time, Alfred's learned a lot about Gilbert and what he does and what he's been up to. He'd had no idea that Gilbert lives in Germany, he'd always just thought Gilbert moved across America like Mathias did. That explains where his accent came from(which Alfred teased him about).

This Gilbert clashes so extremely with the Gilbert from high school. The jerk who'd knocked his books out of his hands is gone, gone and buried. The Gilbert he'd seen during Senior year is the real Gilbert, the funny, laid-back, awesome friend anybody would love to have.

And he and Gilbert are so much more alike than he'd ever guess. They love video games, animals, sports, and Gilbert can play the piano, which Alfred thinks is seriously hot.

They arrive at Mathias's parent's house, and walk up to the door. When Alfred rings the bell, Mathias answers.

"Hello again," Mathias smiles at Alfred, and they shake hands. Mathias's smile turns into a little smirk when he holds his hand out to Gilbert. "And Gilbert, haven't seen you in a long while now. How've you been?"

"I've been good. Still with football?" Gilbert says, eying Mathias's arms. He whistles. "Damn man."

Mathias chuckles and shuts the door. "Yeah, football's pretty demanding. But it's worth it."

"So, where to?" Alfred asks. "Since you guys haven't been here a while, why don't one of you choose?"

"I'm pretty much up for anything," Mathias says to Gilbert, who purses his lips.

"Steak," he finally says. Alfred shrugs and Mathias nods.

"We can go to The Steakhouse?" Alfred suggests, and Mathias and Gilbert look at each other. They nod, and turn back to Alfred.

Alfred looks between them, and wonders when his life got so complicated. "Let's go then," he says, and walks back to his car, Gilbert and Mathias following behind like love-struck puppies.

* * *

Alfred is by far the most boring of the three, when it comes to what he's been up to. After all, he still lives in the same town, only now he goes to college and has a part time job at the library. That's basically it.

Gilbert goes next, and though Alfred's already heard all this, he sits patiently and rests his head on his hand, watching both men talk. Gilbert goes more into his job at Mathias's request, though, and Alfred smiles at their enthusiasm when it comes to working out.

Mathias is last. He admits that the first couple of months had been tough, because he'd felt so incredibly alone. Sure he has a team, but he didn't know anyone. That got better over time, and by the end of the first year Mathias felt like he truly belonged there. Gilbert asks him some specifics about football that Alfred has no knowledge about, so all he hears is technical jargon and blah blah blah.

Mathias can play the guitar, which he'd learned to do from an ex-girlfriend. Alfred's hit with the realization that his feelings for Mathias, which had come back somewhat upon seeing the man, aren't going to be returned. Mathias isn't gay, no way. He's a manly football player who dates girls and plays guitar. Plus, he lives across the country. It's foolish to even try and get involved with him, even if he was gay. Better to stick with Gilbert...

... _Who lives in Germany_ , he realizes, and the implications are clear. Both men are going to be leaving in two or so weeks. Leaving and maybe not returning for another three years, or four, or five even. It's stupid and only going to hurt  _him_  to have feelings for both of them, or even one of them, when they're just going to end up leaving him anyway.

The revelation is almost enough to make his heart stop, and he sort of, just...deflates in his seat, because all of this, all their catching up and chatting, is for naught.

He plasters on his best fake smile the rest of the night.

* * *

It's Wednesday, and finally the end of his class. He shoulders his bag and takes out his phone, and is surprised to see he has fifteen or so messages. He's confused only for a second before he sees that it was Gilbert who text him.

At first, it seems Gilbert was trying to get a hold of him, but when he realized Alfred wasn't going to answer his phone anytime soon, he started sending small, random messages, some of which weren't in English.

As he scrolls through them, their content thoughts off the top of Gilbert's head, a smile comes to his face. He can imagine Gilbert, bored, wanting to talk to him but being forced to wait, sending Alfred anything he thinks about. It's endearing.

Since Ivan will be working at the bar tonight, Alfred decides to head over there. He'll ask how Katyusha's doing, since Matthew had told him on Monday that she was back in the hospital. Poor girl would need a miracle to remain permanently out of it.

He drops his stuff off at the dorm before going over to the bar. It's a little too early for a lot of people to be there, so it's practically empty, but that's fine, since he's not going to be staying long. As is normal of any visit he makes to the bar, Ivan will force a drink on him, they'll talk, then Alfred will leave. It's a normal routine he's glad he's got, since for those minutes while he's in the bar, he's got no responsibilities, no school, nothing but him and alcohol and good company.

He's about to unlock his car door when a familiar laugh comes from somewhere. He looks around and abandons his car to find the source.

When he gets out on the sidewalk he sees Mathias talking to a group of guys across the street. His best guess is that they were probably his teammates in high school.

He briefly wonders if he should call out to Mathias, since he really should hang out with Mathias as much as he can. He's missed the man, in a way. While his crush hadn't been that strong, Mathias had still been a good friend. He was nice, and considerate, and passionate.

However, Mathias happens to turn and see him standing there like an idiot, just watching him. He says something to his friends before jogging over to Alfred.

"Hey Alfred," he greets. Alfred smiles at him as an idea forms in his mind.

"Hey. You busy?"

"Not at the moment. Just catching up with some pals from high school. What about you, what are you doing here?"

"Class just ended," he says, pointing behind him to the college. "I was going to go get a quick drink at the bar down the street, care to join me?"

"Sure," Mathias says, and Alfred pockets his keys. It's not that far of a walk anyway.

* * *

By the time they arrive Alfred has trouble breathing since he's laughing so hard. Mathias is smiling, obvious pleased at his reaction to Mathias's story.

Mathias holds the door open for him when he manages to recompose himself.

They take the open seats nearest the door, since Alfred always sits there when he can. Ivan comes up to them immediately, as there aren't any other patrons to attend to.

"What'll it be?" He asks Mathias.

"Hm, Bourbon and water, no ice."

When Ivan doesn't ask what Alfred wants, Mathias turns to him. "Aren't you going to order something?"

Alfred chuckles and rests against the bar counter. "The only thing I need to say is that my day was great, and it's just gotten better."

Mathias is obviously confused but doesn't comment. Alfred prods him to continue his story, which he does with gusto. After a bit Ivan places two drinks in front of them, which Mathias is once more confused by. "How did he know what you wanted?"

"He doesn't know if I want something. He's just good at giving me what I need." Alfred raises the glass as if to toast Ivan's skill as a bartender. Ivan mock salutes back and tends to another customer who's just walked in.

Alfred takes a sip and licks his lips. "See, fruity and sweet, and not an obvious alcohol taste either. Perfect." Alfred smiles and takes another sip. Mathias watches Alfred's mouth before coming back to himself and continuing on with his story.

* * *

They stay for longer then planned(in that, they didn't even have a plan in the first place). Alfred's consumed more drinks than he'd ordinarily have, but hey, Mathias is here, and there's a good atmosphere in the bar. Somewhere between high school and now Mathias has become one funny guy, and Alfred's perpetually red in the face from a combination of laughing so hard and drinking.

By the time they leave it's just getting dark, and Alfred's not drunk enough to need Mathias to walk him home, but he does anyway, if just to spend more time with Alfred.

He walks Alfred all the way to his dorm, and Alfred leans against his door facing Mathias when they get there.

They stare at each other, Mathias trying to think of how to say goodbye(being around Alfred seems to be scrambling his brain), and Alfred trying to decide how well an idea it is to lean forward and kiss Mathias. Alfred's not dumb; he's sees the signs, how Mathias sometimes looks at his mouth when he talks, how gentlemanly he is concerning doors and manners, how flustered he gets when Alfred leans into his personal space. He feels something, just like Alfred does for him. And in his(not drunk)state, he willfully ignores everything he's previously thought about Mathias.

Ah, what the hell.

Just as Mathias opens his mouth to say goodbye, Alfred leans forward and kisses him.


	5. Make Outs and Hospitals

If he thinks about it, he goes red in the face. It's been two days and he's still hung up on it. He almost feels like hugging a pillow to his body and squealing just as much as he feels like burring his head in sand. What had he even been thinking, kissing Mathias so suddenly?

At least he established Mathias's sexuality, and that was a relief. And if the man kissing back was any indicator, Mathias obviously either liked him, or wanted to have sex with him, and if he's honest with himself? Both work for him.

His phone vibrates in his pocket, and he digs it out while pausing in his work. It's a message, and when he opens it, he sees it's from Gilbert.

_i'm bored. where are you, lets hang out_

He rolls his eyes and stops his work completely. Thinking about what to say, he finally types out a reply, smile creeping onto his face.

_i'm at school, in the music building_

After several seconds with no response, he puts his phone down and starts working on the piano again. It's an older piano with some broken strings sitting sad in the corner. He'd asked the professor if he could work on it after class.

His phone buzzes again a few minutes later, so he sits on the piano bench and wipes his hands off before picking up his phone.

_where the hell is the music building. this place is confusing as fuck_

Ah, so that's why Gilbert had taken a few minutes to respond. He must have been already on campus to be wandering around lost already. Thinking up a quick plan, he asks Gilbert,

_where are you?_

This time Gilbert responds immediately.

_next to some lake_

Alfred brings up a map of the college in his mind's eye, and tells Gilbert the easiest path from his location near the foreign language building to the music building. Then, he goes outside and waits behind a nearby tree.

Eventually Gilbert comes by, and enters the building. Alfred follows behind, making sure to be quiet, which is hard cause he wants to laugh at what he thinks Gilbert will do.

Gilbert pauses because he's in the main hallway, and Alfred remembers he didn't tell Gilbert exactly what room he was in.

Walking up slowly behind Gilbert, who's now cursing and typing into his phone again, Alfred knows he only has seconds before Gilbert sends the text and his phone vibrates. Taking a deep breath, he stops just behind Gilbert and says loudly, "Gilbert!" while also putting his hands on Gilbert's shoulders.

Gilbert jumps, drops his phone, and screams, and it echoes in the room for a few seconds before Alfred bursts out laughing.

"What the hell you dick!" Gilbert says, picking up his phone and scowling. Alfred's too busy bent over laughing to respond.

"Oh my God you scream like a girl!" Alfred gets out, and tries to take a few breaths because his stomach's starting to cramp. Gilbert stands there with his arms crossed.

"Fuck this," Gilbert says, starting to walk away. "I'm outta here."

"Wait, wait, I'm sorry!" Alfred gasps out, finally getting his laughter under control. He runs up next to Gilbert. "Come on, you have to admit it was funny."

Gilbert mumbles something and looks like he's pouting, so Alfred stops him with a hand on his shoulder and turns him so they face each other. "Alright you big baby, I'm sorry, for real."

He puts his arms around Gilbert's shoulders and smiles, looking so damn cute and innocent that Gilbert smiles back before leaning forward to press their lips together.

Alfred accepts the kiss, and slides one hand to Gilbert's hair to grip his short locks. He turns his head and opens his mouth, and Gilbert takes the invitation, though keeps things pretty PG, which Alfred appreciates since they're in the music building and anyone could come in at any moment.

It's so alike and so different from their very first kiss, when Gilbert had cornered Alfred in the park lot of their high school. Then, Alfred had been still wary and nervous around Gilbert, and the kiss had taken him completely by surprise. Now, he's not only kissing back but pressing them closer, until there's no space between them.

This is what he wants. Someone he can joke around with one minute, can tease another, and still kiss with passion and make everything between them count.

It's too bad Gilbert's not the only person who fits that description.

If he was, Alfred would jump in a heartbeat. Gilbert as he is now would be good for him—is good for him.

But Mathias is also someone Alfred enjoys being with, and now that he and Mathias kissed, he feels closer to the man than ever. His original feelings have multiplied from crush to we've-kissed-and-I-want-to-have-sex-with-you-now.

He feels so conflicted kissing Gilbert, because Mathias was his first crush and Mathias likes him back and that's like two plus two equals four right there, right?

Gilbert's the variable in this equation.

He pushes Gilbert away when he needs to breathe, and stands there with an amused expression. "No time for anything further, I'm afraid," Alfred says with a little smile, and Gilbert concedes without much fight, but there's a look in his eyes that almost has Alfred reconsidering.

"Fine, but later," Gilbert says as a compromise, and Alfred nods, smile turning a little sly.

"Later."

* * *

Later, as it turns out, is only an hour and half from when they made that deal.

They managed to get inside Alfred's dorm  _and_  get the door shut before Alfred turns around and kisses Gilbert soundly on the lips.

Gilbert makes a sound of surprise but instantly kisses back with force, letting his hands roam Alfred's sides before settling on the blond's(fine)ass and pressing their hips together roughly. Gilbert let's out a breathy sigh and Alfred wraps his arms tightly around Gilbert's neck.

Since Gilbert's facing the dorm he can see it's empty(it's empty pretty much every time he's been here—he thought Alfred had a dorm mate or something?). This is an advantage for him, both their status as alone and the fact he's facing the room. He spot's Alfred's messy bed and walks towards it, pushing Alfred backwards until his legs hit the bed's edge. He'd expected Alfred to simply fall onto it, because his intention had to have been obvious, but instead Alfred stays up, and he gets to see Alfred's grin only briefly when he pulls back to see what's wrong and suddenly finds himself on his back on Alfred's bed.

Alfred wastes no time and climbs onto his lap, straddling his waist and Gilbert can't really complain because with the lighting Alfred's practically glowing and also he's one hot guy so that's a plus. This is a win-win situation for him.

"In a hurry, pretty boy? Just can't get enough, can you? I know, I know, and I don't blame. I really am that sexy."

Alfred snorts and shakes his head, but his shoulder's are shaking and then he's full on laughing, and the mood might be ruined but that's okay because he's made Alfred laugh so one point for him.

He's surprised again when Alfred leans down, almost laying on him, and presses their lips together. It's not hurried or anything, just a simple touching of lips with some tongue swipes, and this is okay too because Gilbert will take it slow or fast, sweet or rough.

As long as he's with Alfred, he doesn't care.

After awhile of laying together they get up and watch TV, and Alfred makes popcorn and they stay like that into the night.

* * *

The next day from Gilbert's visit is Saturday, and Alfred decides to go to the hospital. It's about time he's visited Katyusha. She's really such a sweet girl, it's a shame she's so sick all the time. She's definitely not the type of person who should be inside all day. Katyusha strikes Alfred as the kind of girl that would absolutely love being outside all the time, whether gardening or walking or simply sitting.

Ivan's told him that she used to be like that when they were younger, and that his heart breaks for her now because she's being denied the one thing she loves to do.

He has flowers for her in his hand. Feliciano, who works at the florist shop, knows just about everything of two subjects: flowers and pasta. It's creepy sometimes, but his knowledge is unmatched. Alfred had just requested flowers for "get well soon" and Feliciano had his bouquet down in a few minutes, complete with vase and bow.

The hospital lobby isn't too busy, and Alfred approaches the nurses station. A familiar face is working it today.

"Hey Toni," Alfred greets, stopping in front of the nurse. Antonio looks up and smiles when he sees Alfred. He finishes up his telephone conversation before responding.

"Alfred! How good to see you. Going to go visit Katyusha?" Antonio says, eying his vase of flowers.

"Yeah. Actually, I went to Feli's for these, and this is for you," Alfred says, and puts the vase on the counter to take something out of his pocket. "Lovino handed it to me and demanded I take it to you."

Antonio takes the folded paper and starts reading it, and Alfred should make his escape now so he doesn't have to listen to the man gush about his boyfriend. "She's in the normal room?" He asks, and Antonio nods distractedly and waves him away.

Alfred makes a quick retreat and follows a familiar path to the third floor. Once there, he passes Ivan's other sister, Natalia. She doesn't smile at him, but when her eyes land on the flowers she nods and continues on.

Alfred doesn't know what her issues are, only that she has some major ones. No amount of cajoling could get Ivan to tell him either, so he left the subject alone. All he knows is that Natalia has a different mother and grew up in a different environment than Ivan and Katyusha. She never behaves oddly when Alfred's seen her though.

He gets to Katyusha's room and knocks, and the door opens to reveal his brother.

"Hi Alfred," Matthew greets, and lets him in. The only visitors are Matthew and Ivan. Katyusha is asleep.

Alfred sets the flowers on a table by the window, next to at least ten other vases of flowers. Katyusha is well loved by her friends.

"Thanks Alfred," Ivan says when Alfred sits in the chair next to him. He smiles.

"How's she doing?" He asks. Ivan sighs and leans back.

"As well as she can I suppose. This time wasn't as bad a reaction, so they're hopeful her new meds are working, but they won't be sure for a few more weeks."

"She'll get through it," Alfred assures, leaning forward to catch Ivan's eye. "She's a tough girl. I know she'll end up alright."

Alfred stays for a little longer, though nothing more is said. Then he says goodbye to Ivan and his brother, and tells Ivan to tell Katyusha when she wakes up that he came by, and wishes her well.

As he's leaving the hospital he gets a text from Mathias, asking him to meet. After being in Katyusha's room, Alfred feels spending time with Mathias would be the perfect way to cheer up. Being in Katyusha's room always leaves him feeling somber, because it's like a slap to the face that life can be ended just like that, and Katyusha's always been straddling the line between life and death. She's doing well now, and Alfred fully believes and hopes she'll stay healthy, but the reminder is there.

He texts back a yes, but asks if they could just hangout and watch movies, or something. Mathias agrees, and they decide to meet up in Alfred's dorm.

On his way back to the college, he thinks about Gilbert's visit yesterday, and how he feels about Gilbert and Mathias. He knows they're going to leave soon. It's foolish of him to keep agreeing to these advances. He knows it's only going to hurt when they leave. So why? Why does his heart beat faster just thinking about Mathias? Why do his cheeks warm when he thinks about Gilbert? When did he fall so hard for the both of them?

He has no answers, and he's sure Gilbert nor Mathias have any either.


	6. Connections and Confusion

"Alfred I...I wanted to ask you—no, that's not right."

"I'm going to be leaving—fuck, that's dumb."

"Alfred I've been thinking and I want you to...to...goddammit!" Mathias fumes to himself, paused at a cross walk. He'd text Alfred a little bit ago about hanging out, so he's on his way to Alfred's dorm to do just that. Truthfully, Mathias wants to do everything he can with Alfred, whether they go out or stay in or do nothing at all. Anything as long as Alfred's there, but when he thinks about Alfred not being there his heart hurts.

He's leaving on Friday. In six days he'll be back home, and then...he'll be moving to Denmark.

He doesn't want to leave on Friday. In six days he'll be far away from Alfred, and then they'll be world's apart, and nothing makes him sadder because after all these years, all the repressed emotions, he's finally accepting his feelings for Alfred. But it's too late, or at least he thinks it is. There is one thing he wants to propose to Alfred, he just doesn't know how to phrase it.

Finally arriving at the college, Mathias walks slowly to Alfred's dorm. He's still on the fence about saying anything at all, because there's no way Alfred would drop everything and move with him to Denmark. They haven't even been together long. Come to think of it, Mathias's isn't sure they even  _are_  together. They've kissed a few times, and that's great, but nothing beyond that.

Sighing, Mathias stops in front of Alfred's dorm and contemplates simply turning and walking away, away from this place and out of Alfred's life. That would be the less painful path, in the long run. Even if just the thought of turning away stabs at his chest, he knows that it'd be better for the both of them.

But dammit! Mathias missed his chance in high school. He'd had a crush on Alfred and done nothing about it. And now he's finally doing something only to move across the world? How much of a bastard could he be? He should turn around, he should walk away...

Mathias knocks on the door and waits, preparing himself for whatever is to come. He'll face it head on, like he's faced most of his problems.

The door opens to reveal Alfred. He's wearing pajamas, and smiling brightly. "Hey Mathias," he greets, and when Mathias fully enters the dorm Alfred shuts the door. "How are you?" He asks, but kisses Mathias before he can answer.

Mathias is accepting of the kiss, and almost wants to forget everything about his moving to Denmark and having to leave Alfred. It's possible with Alfred rubbing against him like his, but he knows ignoring his situation would only come back to haunt him later.

"Listen," he says when they pull apart. He pulls Alfred over to the blond's bed. "There's something I want to talk to you about."

"Okay," Alfred says slowly, because though he's still smiling Mathias can tell he's a little wary.

"It's nothing...too bad. It's just..." Mathias trails off because damn, this is much harder than he'd originally thought, and he's so underprepared for it.

"Just...what? Come on man, you're killing me here," Alfred chuckles and leans against him. It's a little distracting to have Alfred's warmth seeping into his side, but he perseveres.

"Okay, look, in high school...I liked you. Like, really liked you. But I never said anything and then I moved across the country and I thought I'd never see you again except for maybe reunions, and by that time you'd probably have moved on with your life and I..." Mathias pauses his rambling and looks at Alfred, who's got a look of shock on his face, but he's kind of smiling too so that's a good thing. "I'm going back home on Friday," he continues, and the smile that Alfred had sort of been doing drops completely off his face, and damn if that doesn't drill right into his heart. "I don't want to make the same mistake I did in high school. I want to be with you, I..." He wants a lot of things.

Alfred's quiet, and though Mathias still has to tell him about his moving to Denmark, he wait's for Alfred's response.

Eventually Alfred sighs and turns Mathias's head towards him to kiss his lips. He does it slowly, carefully, and with a buried passion that Mathias wants so much to uncover. He wants all of this man, wants to know him intimately and in turn be known intimately. Somewhere down the line he's given his heart to this man, and now he's risking it being crushed.

When Alfred pulls away Mathias continues feeling the tingle of Alfred's lips on his own. "I don't know what to say Mathias. I had a crush on you in high school, I'll admit that. I really admired you and your kindness to others. I even tolerated Gilbert's shitty attitude because it meant you'd help me out. Not a lot has changed when it comes to how I feel about you. You're still that same wonderful guy I liked. But...between you and Gilbert I just don't know what to think."

If Alfred's words were having any effect on him at all, good or bad, everything is thrown aside at that last part.

"What do you mean between me and Gilbert? When did Gilbert become a factor in this?" He's not angry per se, he's just confused. Gilbert shouldn't have come up in their discussion.

"Well, I know he wasn't the greatest of guys in high school, but he's different now. He's kinder, and funny, and I really like him. Just like how I like you."

He's uncomprehending for a moment, and stands up because he has to move, has to figure this out. "So wait, are you telling me you've been seeing Gilbert behind my back?"

Alfred gets up too, and his stance isn't entirely friendly. "What do you mean behind your back? We're not together Mathias. We're not a couple. I've kissed you and I've kissed Gilbert. What's the big deal?"

Mathias takes a deep breath, because as weird and angry as he's feeling, he doesn't want to say something stupid he's going to regret. He knows that he and Alfred aren't together, but this is just like finding out he's being cheated on. To him, someone shouldn't date two people at once. Someone's always going to end up hurt, and it's just cruel to lead them on like that.

"The big deal is that even if me and you or you and Gilbert aren't together, someone's still going to end up hurt. And leading us on like this is just cruel."

Alfred's jaw actually drops, and Mathias feels dread run down his spine for a split second because Alfred's looking angrier by the second and oh shit, did he say something stupid unintentionally?

"'Someone's going to end up hurt?' Do you think it's going to be you or Gilbert that's going to be hurt when this is over? If that's what you think you better get the hell out right now."

Alfred pauses and Mathias stands there, because he doesn't know what else to do. He doesn't want to leave, and now he's starting to see what Alfred's getting at.

"I'm the one who has to remain here. When Gilbert returns to Germany, when you go back home, I'm the one who's going to be left behind. I didn't expect either of you to move back here just for me but I'd thought you'd both be able to act like adults about all this."

The implication that he's acting childish—immature—is strong, but Mathias ignores it because as angry as Alfred is, Mathias can tell he's hurt.

"I shouldn't have done any of this in the first place," Alfred says, clenching his fists. "I knew it'd be a mistake to keep meeting with the two of you. You're both such great guys, everything I could want in a boyfriend, and I deluded myself that these days weren't going to end in horrible heartache. Maybe I should just cut our ties right now, and you should leav—"

Mathias cuts Alfred off by connecting their lips in a bruising kiss. He doesn't want to hear the last of that sentence. He doesn't want Alfred to be regretting their time together. He wants Alfred to be happy and though he knows he's only caused Alfred pain in the past few minutes, he's determined to fix that.

"Don't you dare finish that sentence," he growls against Alfred's lips, and the blond nods and says breathlessly, "Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

They kiss again, just as hard and demanding as before. Mathias brings his hands up to clench the back of Alfred's shirt, while Alfred cups Mathias's face between his hands. Their kisses are wet and leave the both of them wanting more, wanting this to never end and wanting this to already have happened. Five years is a lot of repressed attraction.

They're still close to the bed, so Alfred pushes Mathias towards it until his legs hit the edge. He sits down and drags Alfred onto his lap, and Alfred eagerly settles on the tops of his thighs. Alfred's hands go to his hair to pull his head back, forcing their eyes to connect.

In this single moment they're both asking and answering the same question.

Alfred keeps Mathias's hair in a tight grip while they kiss, and though Mathias's neck isn't in the most comfortable of positions, he'll make Alfred pay later. For now he slides his hands down to Alfred's hips, and thumbs circles into the bare skin just above his pajama bottoms.

Alfred makes a sound in his throat at the contact, and let's his grip on Mathias's hair loosen. He let's go all together and catches the ends of Mathias's shirt to lift it off his head. It's torture to be separated for those seconds, but then the shirt's on the floor and Alfred's sitting back on his thighs.

"Wow," Alfred says, staring at his naked front. He rests his hand over one well defined pectoral muscle and feels Mathias's rapidly beating heart. In the chaos that was and soon will be, this one moment in time is peaceful and serene and all they both want.

Mathias takes Alfred's hand in his and kisses his fingers, his palm and his wrist, and goes up the length of his arm while Alfred blushes but keeps his eyes glued to the act. Mathias gets to Alfred's shoulder, licks the skin there and bites hard once, then licks again in apology. Alfred gasps and leans closer to Mathias, to him and his mouth, and that puts Alfred's neck directly in front of him. And there's really no point in refuting an obvious invitation such as this.

He latches onto Alfred's neck, sucking lightly because yeah, hickeys are a bitch to hide, and maybe Alfred's not one to show off his bedroom trophies. He's being cordial and making a light one at the base of Alfred's neck, though judging by the way Alfred holds a hand behind his head and pushes him closer, he's probably not against the notion of being a little rougher. And if that's what he wants then Mathias can only appease him.

He pulls back to lift Alfred's shirt over his head, and it joins his own shirt on the other side of the dorm. Alfred's skin is much like his own, golden and damn does it look inviting. His muscles aren't as obvious as Mathias's but they're there, and Mathias suddenly wants to see them quivering beneath his touch,  _because_  of his touch.

Mathias runs his hands down Alfred's abdomen, which trembles as Alfred's breath hitches. Mathias looks up and smiles and Alfred reciprocates before kissing him again.

It's very fortunate that Alfred's wearing pajama bottoms, because the band around his hips is stretchy, and Mathias's hand slides easily under it. He seeks out the hot flesh tenting the front of Alfred's bottoms, and when he finds it he wraps his hand around it, eliciting a moan from Alfred.

Alfred's hands clamp down on his shoulders and Mathias grins and makes sure to look in Alfred's eye before he begins pumping his hand. Alfred can't help but close his eyes at the blissful feeling, but Mathias makes sure to be the first thing Alfred sees when he cracks his eyes open again. Alfred's moans and sighs are making him unbearably hard but he's still going, the precum from Alfred's cock making his hand slick and his movements a little easier.

He thumbs the head and has to bite his lip at Alfred's resulting cry, because now he's just being tested, and if this goes on he'll probably just cum in his jeans and ruin everything. So he leans that little bit forward and connects them flush chest to chest, catches Alfred's lips in a heated kiss and swallows Alfred's increasing moans.

He can tell Alfred's close because his hips are starting to move as he pushes himself into Mathias's hand, and one of Alfred's hands curl at the base of his neck to pull their heads together. Mathias makes sure to watch Alfred's face as he speeds up his pace, squeezing intermittently and reveling in Alfred's moans of pleasure.

When Alfred cums his brows are furrowed and his eyes are closed. His cheeks are red and his body trembles. His mouth is parted for his ragged pants, and when Mathias puts a hand on his chest he feels Alfred's quickly beating heart. And he notices all this and realizes that _he_  caused it, he caused it and wants to always cause it and as Alfred slumps against him, sighing onto his collarbones, Mathias wants nothing more than for this to be a normal thing between them, a beautiful thing to be made between the two of them all the time.

Mathias can't wait any longer and says quietly, "Come on, stand up." Alfred takes a moment to comply, but when he does he removes his pajama bottoms with no hesitation, and walks on shaky legs to lock the door. Mathias divests himself of his jeans and underwear and settles back down on the bed like before, feet firmly planted on the floor and back ram rod straight.

Alfred takes one detour before sliding back onto his lap, a small bottle of lubricant in his hands. He smiles slyly at Mathias and says, "Do you want to do it, or shall I?"

Mathias can't deny that the thought of Alfred preparing himself on his lap is incredibly hot, so he says, "Have at it," and leans back on his hands to get a full view of the show.

Alfred ducks his head and blushes, but squirts some lube on his hand before tossing the bottle to the side and reaching behind himself.

He makes a sound when he pushes a finger into himself that has Mathias shivering in anticipation. Alfred's cheeks are really red now, and one hand on Mathias's chest is all that's keeping him up, since Mathias can see and feel his thighs shaking. Every so often when Alfred hits something inside himself his other hand digs into Mathias's chest, fingernail creating half-moon divots in Mathias's skin, which makes him suck in a breath and bite his lip.

At the second finger Alfred's panting, struggling to stretch himself properly. He's pushing down on his own fingers, and it's so damn hot. As a distraction Mathias takes himself and Alfred in his hand and rubs them together slowly, enjoying the way Alfred shudders and stops in his movements.

It becomes too much for Alfred. "T-That's enough, I can't...need you..." he whispers, and Mathias shallows and nods, using his hand and some lube to slick himself up before positioning himself when Alfred rises onto his knees. Holding his breath Mathias watches as Alfred slowly starts to sink down, until he's seated fully on Mathias's lap.

They let out simultaneous moans, Alfred letting his head fall back while Mathias rests his forehead against Alfred's chest. They enjoy initial penetration together, removed from time in this moment, before Alfred starts a pace of rising up on his knees and sinking back down.

Their pace quickly becomes hurried, a frantic need building up in the two of them that can't and won't wait for anything. Mathias thinks about his future in Denmark and how he so wishes Alfred could come with him. He's struck at that moment, as Alfred angles himself so when he sinks down Mathias hits his prostate, with the idea that he should offer the invitation. He should let Alfred choose whether or not he wants to remain here or come with Mathias to Denmark.

The thought of Alfred agreeing to come with him is powerful enough that, coupled with the clenching of Alfred around him, it's too much. Giving a few thrusts of his own and thereby interrupting the methodical rocking Alfred had achieved, Mathias hugs Alfred to him as he releases, groaning low in his throat. He reaches down to help Alfred achieve the same high, and continues moving as much as he can before Alfred cums for the second time, smothering his own moans with his hand.

Breathing heavily in each other's ears, it takes them a while to come down from bliss. Exhausted, Mathias falls backwards and takes Alfred with him, in the process sliding out of the blond as well. Running a hand through Alfred's sweat dampened hair, Mathias scoots off the bed and places Alfred on his feet.

They manage to clean up and get under Alfred's covers, where they lie side by side, sharing each other's warmth. The thought from earlier comes back, that he should at least ask Alfred to come with him.

"Alfred?" He starts, receiving a hum of acknowledgment. He turns onto his side and sees that Alfred has his eyes closed. "There's something I want to ask you. It's important."

Alfred opens his eyes and stares at the ceiling for a second before also turning onto his side so they face each other. "What about?" He asks.

"I'm going back home on Friday. But after that...I'm moving to Denmark. I want you to come with me."

For a minute it seems Alfred doesn't understand, because he stares at Mathias and his mouth opens and closes. Then his eyes widen. "You're moving...to Denmark. And you want me to come with you? When—How—"

"You don't have to decide right now," Mathias assures, stopping the flurry of questions Alfred no doubt has. "I can get you a ticket whenever you want, that doesn't matter. It could be tomorrow or a month from now, anytime you're ready. But please, consider it."

"I-I—Mathias, this is...such a big step. Moving to another country? What about my—my schooling, my family and friends?" Alfred looks almost lost, the crinkling of his brow from worry unbecoming of him. Mathias reaches up to smooth his thumb across Alfred's cheek.

"As I said, you don't have to decide now. All I ask is that you think about it. Promise?"

Alfred swallows and looks down for a moment before looking back up and meeting his eye. "I promise."

* * *

A few days after meeting up with Mathias, Alfred still hasn't given the man an answer. Mathias will be leaving in two days, and the thoughts of moving or staying here weigh heavily on his mind. His friends are no help, his family is no help. They know it is entirely his decision, and if he wants to, what's stopping him?

He can think of someone...

The knocking interrupts Alfred's homework time. Looking up, he tosses his notebook aside and goes to see who's visiting him. He wanders briefly about eating something since it's lunch time on his way to the door.

When he opens the door he's surprised to see Gilbert standing there, looking miserable but resigned. At first Alfred thinks something's happened, but then he doesn't think at all when Gilbert kisses him suddenly and intensely. He melts into the kiss and kicks the door shut.

When Gilbert pulls back, he says the last thing Alfred expects.

"I want you to live in Germany with me."


	7. Decisions Decisions

Gilbert's watching TV on the couch. There's nothing interesting on, but he's so bored he doesn't want to get up to find something to do.

He's not  _really_  watching the TV anyway, because a certain blond has been on his mind a lot lately. His return trip to Germany is coming up fast; he's only got a little over a week left here. He doesn't want to go.

He  _does_  want to go back to work and see his friends. He loves his job and he loves living in Germany. But if anything has happened by his returning to town, it's the realization that he's fallen.

He's far too gone to turn away now. In high school, when he'd cornered Alfred in the parking lot, he hadn't been thinking about anything except that one kiss wouldn't hurt. They'd graduate and probably never see each other again. They'd go their separate ways and that would have been fine.

But of course life loves being as difficult as possible. He just had to visit his brother, and Alfred just had to be living here still, and he just had to still have feelings for Alfred.

It's more than a simple crush though, that much Gilbert can tell. When he's with Alfred it's like nothing else matters. Alfred gets him in a way few others can claim to have. Alfred's like him in so many ways that people might think they'd annoy each other, but it was quite the opposite that was true. Because they were similar they got along great. Gilbert likes video games; Alfred can wipe the floor with him any day. Alfred likes music; Gilbert can play the piano.

And this is great and all because Gilbert really likes spending time with Alfred. He likes watching Alfred joke around and be casual with him. He likes that he can meet with Alfred any time of any day and pick up a conversation like they'd never quit one. He likes Alfred, all that makes him up.

But there's something Gilbert doesn't like, and it worries him; it makes him doubt himself.

There's joy from being around Alfred—thinking about Alfred—but there's pain too, and surely that's not suppose to happen? Whatever he feels for Alfred, it shouldn't hurt, right? But it's clearly there, a throbbing ache right in his heart. Sometimes it's dull and hardly noticeable; sometimes it's a stabbing sensation that demands his attention.

He doesn't want to acknowledge it, because he doesn't know what it is.

Sighing heavily at his internal plight, Gilbert straightens up a bit on the couch and throws the remote to the side, TV off.

He's kind of hungry, if he thinks about it. Maybe he'll convince Ludwig to make him something to eat.

Walking into the kitchen, luckily without making a sound because he's so caught up in his troubling situation, he's stops just beyond the door way.

Earlier, Ludwig had opened the door and a short young man had entered. He'd introduced himself as Feliciano, and Gilbert liked him well enough. Feliciano was extremely bubbly, and always had to move it seemed. They'd left Gilbert on the couch and traveled to the kitchen, which, Gilbert discovers, they'd never left.

Feliciano had persuaded Ludwig to make some sort of desert type dish, so the kitchen is filled with the scent of chocolate and strawberries. But what really gets Gilbert is the fact that both Feliciano and Ludwig are covered in ingredients. And honest to God, Ludwig's smiling genuinely.

His heart twists at the scene, surprising Gilbert with it's intensity. Unbidden, an image of him and Alfred in the same scenario pops into his head, and his heart continues it's efforts to bring him never ending heartache.

He backs out slowly, careful to not make a sound, and makes it back to the living room without getting caught. He'll leave them to their fun.

But what can he do now?

Taking out his phone, he stares at Alfred's contact number, and, ignoring the crushing in his chest at the thought of talking to Alfred, dials.

"Alfred? Hey, you free?"

* * *

Gilbert's in Ludwig's guest bedroom, sitting on the bed with his head in his hands. Though he wills the carpet to give him the answers he seeks, it's all for naught as he's still left to despair.

It's Wednesday. In exactly one week, a plane will take him back to Germany. To Germany and away from Alfred.

How the pain hits him hard at this thought. It makes sense, he thinks, for pain to come when he thinks of leaving. But when he thinks of staying, of seeing Alfred's smiling face every day, pain shouldn't be present. He should feel light and happy and like he was on a cloud or some shit like that right?

"Maybe if I think out loud," Gilbert mutters to himself, "I'll see something I must have missed."

He falls back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, which also has no answers miraculously written on it.

"Okay," he says, like that's going to do anything. "Let's see...What do I like about Alfred?"

What doesn't he like about Alfred? Alfred's nice. He's fun. He's awesome. He's...

Gilbert puckers his lips. Well, Alfred's not  _perfect_  per se, but maybe as close to being perfect as is possible by an imperfect being? Because while Alfred has his good qualities he's also got his not so good ones. Like how loud he can be without realizing it, especially when he's excited about something.

No pain yet, so Gilbert continues his assessment of Alfred's person. While it is true that Alfred's loud, Gilbert can't help but be reminded of how wide his smile gets, or how his eyes crinkle. And he's so animated and casual about everything. Gilbert likes that about Alfred, finds it endearing and...

"Dammit," Gilbert curses, resting a hand on his heart, which is aching again.

What the hell causes this pain? Maybe he's just going crazy.

He rolls onto his side, sighing. Damn this sucks. He's got a week left and he's got it bad for Alfred.

He stares at the pillow, thinking about their last meeting a couple days ago. Alfred had been...off. Gilbert would catch Alfred staring at him, a blank look on his face. When he'd call the man out on it, Alfred would look away or startle badly, but he'd blush too.

Gilbert turns fully onto his stomach, squishing his face into the comforter. Ugh, why did Alfred have to be so damn cute? It isn't helping Gilbert at all that the man he's in...in...

Sitting up slowly, Gilbert's eyes widen. A realization is worming its way to his mind. And the knowledge of said realization kicks his mind into overdrive.

He...He can't be. But he could be? He probably is. Hell, he really likes Alfred. Likes everything about the man, especially how likable he is.

Gilbert looks at the door and bites his lip. There's no denying it, now that it's come to his attention. And for better or worse, there's no changing it.

He's in love.

"Fuck," he whispers. His heart races and suddenly the pain that used to be there isn't pain but affection. His confusion is now acceptance. His doubts are pushed aside, taken apart and rebuilt as assurances. He's in love, and he's not going to just let Alfred slip out of his grasp like last time.

Plan already forming, Gilbert grabs his keys and makes sure he has his wallet and phone before running out the door.

He's almost sick with nerves on the way to Alfred's dorm. Though he recognizes his love for what it is, he doesn't know how Alfred feels, which is pretty important to him since he's about to do something crazy.

He doesn't even know if Alfred is in his dorm or at work or in class, but he knocks on the door anyway. He's resigned: if Alfred opens the door, he's going to ask Alfred to live in Germany with him.

He thinks maybe the door won't open and he almost starts panicking but it does, and Alfred's there, giving him a concerned look. He must look miserable but he doesn't care, instead surges forward and kisses Alfred. He does it with purpose and intensity, trying to express his true feelings.

He hears the door shut, and pulls away to see Alfred's flushed face. Then he sort of blurts out, "I want you to live in Germany with me."

He then winces because that had to be the stupidest way to approach the subject, but he can't take it back now so he just rolls with it.

"I've been thinking lately, and I've realized some things," he starts out with, and that's a bit better. Alfred's still staring at him likes he's grown a second head, so that's a no go, but if he just keeps talking he'll eventually say something right. "I know I've only been here like, a week, and I know that you probably don't feel anything more than a crush for me but dammit Alfred, I've fallen so hard that I can't return home without risking our friendship to know if you'd ever consider coming to Germany with me. I mean, it wouldn't have to be tomorrow, or even next week when I leave. It could be when your semester's over, or in two months. I don't care." Gilbert pauses and takes Alfred's hands in his, squeezing them because he just want's Alfred to  _know_  already how he feels. As it is Alfred's looking at him less like he's crazy and more like he understands what Gilbert's trying to say. Taking a deep breath, Gilbert goes for it.

"I love you, Alfred. I want to...to see your face when I go to bed, and when I wake up. I want to spend weekends lazing about with you. I want you to smile at me and frown at me, to laugh and yell at me. I want you because you're you and I just have to try."

Gilbert's speech has left him a little winded. He stares at Alfred who stares back, and neither say anything. Gilbert just bared his soul to Alfred and now he's waiting for either acceptance, or rejection.

Gilbert watches as first Alfred smiles, then his shoulder's start to shake and his face pinches together before he starts laughing, of all things. Gilbert stands there dumbstruck as Alfred laughs hard, bending over to rest his hands on his knees.

It feels like someone has taken a mallet to his heart, pounding it down into a flat, sorry little slab of pain and heartache and rejection. He's stunned and can't move and wants to laugh and play his confession off as a joke just as much as he wants to roll over and die.

Eventually Alfred gets a hold of himself, wiping under his eyes. He sees Gilbert's look—open mouth and wide eyes—and puts a hand on Gilbert's cheek to draw their lips together. That manages to shock Gilbert out of his trance. Confused, his brows draw together as Alfred smiles brightly at him.

"You know," Alfred says at last, "Sometimes life likes being a bitch, but sometimes it loves being one." He chuckles and Gilbert's more confused than ever.

"I'm...sorry...?" He says, unsure. Alfred leans in for another kiss which Gilbert gladly gives, but he's still freaking out on the inside.

"Sorry about laughing," Alfred says, and takes Gilbert's hand to lead him over to the bed. Alfred pushes him onto it and sits beside him. "It's just that Mathias asked me the same thing a few days ago."

Gilbert turns to Alfred because what the hell does Mathias have to do with this but the first thing that comes out of his mouth is, "To move to Germany?"

Alfred laughs again and shakes his head. "No silly. Mathias is moving to Denmark. He asked me to go with him."

Gilbert's heart stops, or at least that's what it feels like. His every muscle is tense. "What—What did you say?"

Alfred's smile dims somewhat and Gilbert laments its absence. "I promised him I'd think about it."

"Oh," is all Gilbert can say, because he's too late for sure. Mathias is a good guy—hell he's a great guy. He can see Mathias and Alfred making a happy couple. But he's selfish and wants Alfred for himself. But if Alfred truly wants to go with Mathias, Gilbert will accept that. For Alfred he'd do anything, even if it broke his heart.

"Yeah," Alfred agrees. They sit in silence until Gilbert says, "If you've already decided to go with him, I won't try to dissuade you."

"That's sweet of you Gilbert, especially since you said you love me..." Gilbert looks over and sees Alfred blushing and his heart beats again because maybe he does have a chance. "However, I haven't decided yet." Alfred sighs and falls back on the bed. Gilbert joins him, and they lay side by side.

"Mathias is leaving for his home on Friday before he moves to Denmark on Sunday," Alfred says. Gilbert hums in acknowledgment. An idea is forming in his head, but he needs to speak to Mathias before he leaves if it's going to be realized.

Gilbert sits up. "Alfred," he says, gaining the blond's attention. He holds his hand out for Alfred to take and helps him up. Then he leans in for a slow, passionate kiss.

"You know how I feel," he murmurs against Alfred's lips. "All I ask is that you think about it."

"I will," Alfred breathes, and seals his words with another kiss.

* * *

Gilbert's standing outside Mathias's parent's house, barely believing he's about to do this. But he thinks it'll be good for Alfred, which he's sure is what's going to get Mathias to agree to it.

He knocks and Mathias answers. Pleased to see his friend, he invites Gilbert in.

"So what are you doing here Gilbert? I can honestly say I wasn't expecting to see you again. And sorry about the mess. I'm leaving tomorrow so things are a little chaotic." True to his word, various articles of clothing are strewn about the room.

"Don't worry about it," Gilbert says easily, internally preparing himself. For all he knows Mathias could be crazy in love with Alfred. And while Gilbert likes to think he's no pushover, the size of Mathias's muscles unnerves him.

"I spoke to Alfred yesterday," he says tentatively, and Mathias nods, though now he looks distracted.

"Yeah, I talked to him a few days ago too."

Gilbert exhales harshly because this is obviously going to be as hard as possible. Might as well get it over with, like ripping a band-aid off.

"I asked him to move to Germany with me," he says, and sees Mathias tense up. Hoping Mathias won't kill him, he continues. "I love him," he says with conviction. "I want to be with him. But I can't remain here. I asked him to come with me. And I know you did the same."

Mathias looks at him, but he doesn't appear hostile at all. It allows Gilbert to relax somewhat.

"I—Yeah, I did," Mathias says, and frowns.

"I don't know how you feel about him. I can only know what I feel. But I don't want to make this hard on Alfred. I doubt you want to either."

Mathias shakes his head and Gilbert continues. "I think we should offer him a plane ticket. One plane ticket he can use to either Denmark or Germany. Then, when this semester's up, he can choose if he wants to take one of us up on our offer. That would be the easiest way."

Mathias sits down on the couch. Gilbert's words make sense, but at the same time jumble his thoughts. Gilbert loves Alfred,  _loves_. Does he love Alfred? The fact he has to ask that probably means he doesn't, at least not yet. He wants to; he can see them in love.

"Okay," Mathias says, looking up at Gilbert. "I agree."

* * *

It's Friday, and he still hasn't given Mathias his answer. He's just so unsure. He likes Mathias, no doubt, but with Gilbert's confession and offer, he doesn't know what to think or who to choose.

He massages his temples to stave off his building headache when someone knocks on his door. Groaning, he gets up and stretches before going over to open it.

It occurs to him while his hand's on the knob that it could be Mathias here to say goodbye, so he braces himself and opens the door to reveal Mathias...and Gilbert.

"Uh, hi," he says, glancing between them. They respond in kind, and Mathias holds something out to him.

"What's this?" Alfred asks as he takes the envelope. At their urging he opens it, and stares at its content without comprehension for a moment before he looks up at them, shock on his face.

"What is this?" He breathes again, looking between them frantically.

"It's a ticket," Gilbert responds. "It will take you to Denmark, if you choose Mathias. Or it will take you to Germany, if you choose me. Or it can go in the garbage, if you decided to not choose either of us." Alfred laughs briefly at that.

"We don't want to make this hard," Mathias says, placing a hand on his shoulder. "You don't have to decide until the end of the semester. But please." Mathias slides his hand to the juncture between Alfred's neck and shoulder and squeezes softly. "Please think about it."

"Y-Yes, yes I definitely will," Alfred assures, and earns a smile from Mathias. He leans over and kisses Alfred chastely, and Alfred hurts because he can tell this is goodbye.

"I have to go," Mathias says. He trails his hand from Alfred's shoulder to his hand, taking it and leaning down to kiss it softly. "Goodbye, Alfred."

"Bye Mathias," Alfred says, and Gilbert steps aside to let Mathias pass by him. He and Alfred watch as Mathias walks out of sight.

Turning to the silent blond, Gilbert offers him a hug. "I'll leave you to your thoughts," he says, and leaves as well.

Alfred stands in his doorway, ticket clutched in one hand and heart split two ways.

* * *

Gilbert's return flight comes and goes, and Alfred thinks about the ticket constantly.

He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know who to choose. He doesn't know anything anymore.

* * *

Alfred sighs as he leaves his last class. With finals over comes the end of the semester. The ticket weighs heavy on his mind. The envelope is worn with how often Alfred holds it, just staring at it.

He's so conflicted. Mathias was his first crush, his strongest crush during high school. But Gilbert quickly gained his affection as well, near the end of high school. And both are such great guys with qualities Alfred loves.

The past three weeks have been hard on him. He constantly replays his moments with Mathias and Gilbert. He thinks about their offers, and how they're doing. He thinks about what he wants and finds he doesn't yet know.

It's Feliciano who gives him the answer.

"Pick whoever makes you laugh," he says after Alfred tells him of his concerns and confusion. "It's better to be with someone you'll have fun with than someone who won't. And sometimes, it's the most unlikely of people that'll do it. Take Ludwig for example," Feliciano sighs dreamily and leans on the counter, playing with some flower petals. "Ludwig may not look like it, but he's a funny guy. He makes me laugh, and I make him smile. He told me once that he loved me because of me, and that's why everything I do makes him happy. So romantic~" Feliciano says, but Alfred's no longer listening because his mind flashes back to a single moment three weeks ago.

" _I love you because you're you..."_

"Thanks Feli, have to go!" He says quickly, running out the flower shop's door.

It's like the weight has been lifted. He knows his path now. He knows what he wants and who he wants it from.

* * *

On the very last day of May Alfred stands in the airport, saying goodbye to Matthew and Arthur and Francis.

"We have to skype every week," Matthew says, his eyes definitely not watery. Alfred smiles, eyes also not watery at all, and hugs his brother again.

"Sure thing bro. Twice every week maybe."

"Of Alfred," Francis says and hugs him next. "You will surely be missed. I'll have to find someone else to taste my new creations."

"Sorry about that," Alfred laughs, and returns Francis's hug.

He turns to Arthur, who actually holds his hand out as if to shake it with Alfred's. Alfred rolls his eyes and draws Arthur into a hug instead, ignoring the man's complaints. "Bye Arthur," he says, and pulls away.

Arthur clears his throat and adjusts his tie. But then he smiles and holds his hand out again. "Goodbye, Alfred." Alfred shakes his hand, and the intercom announces his flight's about to board.

Matthew hugs him one last time before he gives his ticket to the checker. He waves until out of sight.

_Flight to Berlin, Germany now boarding._


	8. Epilogue of Sorts

"Remind me again why I have to wear this?" Gilbert asks, tugging at the tie around his neck. It's not that he doesn't like formal wear or anything of the sort, it's just that he doesn't think he's really required to wear this. Though he can't deny how good he looks it in.

"Don't fuss with it," Alfred says, looking equally good in his formal clothes, if Gilbert can say. Alfred reaches over and slaps Gilbert's hands away from the offending article of clothing. He tightens it back up and Gilbert sighs. "Look, you didn't have the greatest reputation in high school. Do you want people to look at you and think 'Wow no surprise he didn't change'? Or do you want people to go 'Hot damn look how fine he is, I've bet he's really changed in life'?"

Gilbert grins at that, because that is exactly what he wants people to think of him. "You're right, I get it."

"Good," Alfred says with finality, but still leans in to kiss him. "Besides, I think you look totally hot," he whispers against Gilbert's lips.

Gilbert hums and let's a hand wander down Alfred's back. "I could say the same to you," he says and narrows his eyes a bit. "I don't know how I'm going to restrain myself all night."

"I'll make it worth your while if you're a good boy," Alfred promises, reaching behind himself to grasp Gilbert's straying hand. "Which means limited touching." Alfred pats Gilbert's arm and separates them.

Gilbert whines almost inaudibly. "You can be cruel sometimes, you know that?"

"I know," Alfred says with a smile and holds the door open for him. Gilbert grumbles all the way to the car.

* * *

The gym looks better than he'd ever seen it. It's amazing how well a room looks when groups of sweaty kids aren't crowded everywhere. Still, memories come flooding back the moment they walk through the doorways.

A huge banner above the doors welcomes everyone to their five year reunion. In a decent sized town like theirs it's up for debate how many people will show up. Most have stayed in town and see each other every day or so. Still, decorations and food and drink are out like everyone's expected to show, and everything looks better than they'd of guessed.

Gilbert hadn't felt like the five year reunion was a big deal, but one look from Alfred's puppy dog eyes and his mind was changed for him. Alfred had wanted to go since, living in Germany, he hasn't seen his brother or any of his friends in over a year. After moving to Germany in May he and Gilbert had returned in January to attend Arthur and Francis's wedding, which Alfred definitely wouldn't have missed for the world. Unfortunately he wasn't able to be the Best Man but he still attended to support them.

Gilbert and Alfred stay together as they meet their old classmates. Despite having graduated two years earlier both Arthur and Francis are there, Arthur because he'd been in leadership and helped put the reunion together and Francis because he was married to the workaholic.

Matthew's there too and Alfred's practically glued to his side as he hugs his brother. Gilbert leaves Alfred to Matthew and goes to see some of his old football teammates. He's not really surprised that he falls into easy conversation with them. It's almost like being back in high school.

He feels a hand clap his shoulder and turns to see a familiar face. It makes sense that if he and Alfred came from a different country, then others might too, including Mathias.

He'd think it would be awkward between them, since the last time they saw each other they both had feelings for a certain blond. But he and Mathias too talk as if five years haven't passed, as if they both hadn't fallen for some doof in glasses, and as if they hadn't put their hearts on the line and hoped not to be crushed.

Alfred wanders over eventually and congratulates Mathias on the same thing Gilbert had: a golden band on his ring finger. He's surprised but happy and has Mathias's hand in his to observe the gold band. He asks questions about the lucky man and smiles a lot and Gilbert too smiles because Alfred's always so excitable.

Gilbert doesn't know why he thought this might not have been important enough to attend. Sure it's only been five years, but a lot has changed. People get married, they move on and get over things in life. And no one's immune from it, not even him.

The little velvet box in his pocket proves that.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, what did you think? I'd love to hear, but no pressure. I've been meaning to get out another quick DenAme story, and Prussia just wormed his way into the mix so I thought, 'Why not? Love triangles are great fun!'
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, and will enjoy the following chapters.


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